“Four. Put them bars up. Look at this convict here.” It was better to get that four and land in jail rather than a three, at least, and be bewildered by the hotel sitting at Marvin Gardens, or getting a five, six or eight and landing on either of the four houses on the green spaces, all courtesy of Sunny. I had squatted on Atlantic Avenue already and was running out of money real quick. Sunny knew his way around the monopoly board like a hawk which patrolled its territory. The open skies saw houses and hotels under his deed and nothing but the barren wastelands of the Third Reich under mine. I would come down to hang out with him and a sibling of his every Saturday in the sixth and preceding half of the seventh grade.
Sunny was a brilliant and resilient individual. He was a mixture of calm and shy, what would be perceived as “reserved” for any age. But he dealt his own trade very well. Sunny always knew what he wanted, and never diverged from his goals or true intentions. Sunny lived on the first floor of the building while I dwelled on the fourth. I had known Sunny since elementary school, P.S.130M. It happened that we attended the same junior high school, M.S. 167 Robert F. Wagner. One of the key differences aside from level of outreach in personality between the two of us was work ethic. I always emphasized fun before work and Sunny work above all. On Saturdays I would give Sunny a call sometime in the afternoon and ask if I could come down and hang out. He would almost always say yes because he would finish his school work on Fridays and so I would tread down to the first floor. Vintage Sunny. Good old days.
In early sixth grade the game that everyone invested themselves with was Neopets. By the middle of the year, almost everyone in the class had a virtual pet to feed, equip and battle with. Sunny had a Neopet. I had a Neopet. For some reason Sunny always acquired Neopoints, the monetary value of the Neopet Universe, quicker and more efficiently than I did. I always fathomed how he would pull this off. Whenever we would battle, I would go into the fight on the lower rung of the ladder, as he would out-level me in all Neopet stats and abilities, come in with heftier equipment for battle, and ultimately win the fight. This would go on to have a lot more daunting implications for the year to come.
By mid-to-late sixth grade, in early 2002 a new trend had presented itself. Andrew Gomer’s Jagex platform had brought about a relatively new game called Runescape which I believe was unveiled in 1999 at the earliest, but surely enough, had blossomed into one of the premier games of the time. Runescape was a free MMORPG, which meant that everyone with readied internet access could get their mouse arrow on it. I believe it was Sunny who first informed me of this new phenomenon. A few boring clicks morphed into heightened sensitivity for the Runescape terrain and within a week evolved into the best game I had ever indulged in. Sunny and I used to kill goblins by Lumbridge, the starting point and noob harbor in the game. We would kill them for experience and the petty gold that they left behind, even bury their bones after the fight for prayer points. For some reason Sunny excelled in the game far faster than I did also, as he did in Neopets. It was him who also told me that there was bigger world out there than Lumbridge, that there was a whole world of archery, magic, sword fighting and so forth to explore. He also informed me of quicker methods of making money in that universe. Consequentially, when we fought in that game, he always won. But there are no winners in a real fight.
Every Saturday we would interact on either Neopets or Runescape depending on the calendar (Neopets quickly expired after the popularity of Runescape spread like wildfire) from our desktops. Soon afterward, from 1-4pm I would come down and I would observe Sunny doing his rounds in either of them and marvel at just how well he executes triggers, toggles, commands and game plan/strategy with precision. After that it’d be Monopoly time! The three of us would sit on the floor in the pattern of a triangle. One of us would distribute property, another would play the role of the banker and the third would chip in a little of both. Tiffany was a year older than us. She got into a private school called Poly Prep: Epiphany and would end up studying there from the sixth or seventh grade all the way until the end of the twelfth. She was always bright and hardworking. Perhaps more so than Sunny himself. Hey, I guess it runs in the family. Like Sunny, Tiffany was soft-spoken. But unlike Sunny, Tiffany was sexy. The three of us would play Monopoly for hours on end, sometimes we wouldn’t be able to finish before 7pm, when Sunny’s mother came back. Monopoly was very competitive, as in real world arrangements and ordeals. When it came down to the board, dice, property and money, no one trusted the other. Deals were made between the other two if one party became too dominant. I had my first wet dream off of Tiffany. It came much later but… hey it is what it is. I wish I could’ve hadBreakfast at Tiffany’s after waking up. Sometimes it would be difficult to play with the siblings because Tiffany would get too much of my attention. Never touch a bro’s sister. Don’t even flirt. That’s inscribed in the XY bible.
After on average two or three hours of Monopoly, the three of us would go outside. Sunny and I would head up to the handball court either in front of I.S. 131 or the one behind it to engage in indefinite rounds of handball while Tiffany watched. Handball was the only thing I could beat Sunny at. I didn’t make too much out of it because we were friends. I remember the curved wall that we played in front of the school and how that would angle the deflection of the ball from it and the flat surface which we dueled against at the back of the school. Most of the time it was Monopoly followed by handball, but sometimes it was visa versa. Either way, by the time both had been completed, I usually had to go home.
It happened in the earlier portion of seventh grade. I believe it was November or December of 2002 when it occurred. It was a damp and dark Saturday. I was watching Stephen King’s Needful Things on TV when I got bored. I gave Sunny a call and he said it was alright to go down to the first floor. Him and his sister were playing a game on the Gameboy. I believe it was Warior Land or one of its sequels/spin-offs. When neither Sunny nor his sister could get past a stage in the game, Tiffany inquired for my help. Sunny said to her “he can’t do it, he’s a LOSER.” LOSER. That word stung me like an acupuncture needle in the wrong region of the body. Whenever I feel angry or overwhelmed, I smile. I try to cover it up. It’s like a reflex reaction. And so I smiled. Then I took Sunny’s handball and ran up three flights of stairs and locked the door. He kept banging on my apartment and saying “give me back my ball!” Eventually he was attracting attention from my neighbors so I had to open the door and give him his ball back. He was my best friend for the longest time. And I had lost just that.
In March of 2013 I met up with Sunny. Since September 2006 I had moved to Queens and looking back on things, I finally had the guts to get into the building and knock on his door. We had coffee together in a Starbucks by Broadway. I told him everything that I had written above (except the whole “your sister is hot” thing). I could tell he felt melancholy. I felt worse. I think. I don’t know. But what I do know is that after we parted again, I began to feel the blues. Sunny’s Blues.
Everywhere you were in this story, I was there, too. You did an amazing job in creating a scene with your details. I also love the descriptions of the games because everyone has to have played at least one MMORPG in their life and they can be really addicting. My favorite line in your piece was about Runscape, “Sunny and I used to kill goblins by Lumbridge, the starting point and noob harbor in the game.” I just find it so funny. Also, I can relate to your line about the distrust between players in Monopoly. I hate who I become whenever I play that game!
Besides the games, I also think you did a fantastic job in describing your relationship with Sunny. He was obviously someone whom you admired and his insult hurt, but I would have liked to know how you both lost contact. I understand that you considered your friendship lost when he called you a loser, but was it that sudden? Was it mutually accepted that you two were no longer friends?
The reunion between you two was a great way to end your story and I felt like it wrapped everything perfectly. However, I have two theories about your ending. The first that your reunion was unsuccessful and you having the ‘blues’ was about the full realization that you’d lost a friend. The second, that the reunion was satisfying, but still bittersweet. I’m split between which it is particularly because I translate Sunny “mellow” as relaxed and when you say you are “worse” than relaxed, I wonder if you mean more relaxed, or just the opposite. Perhaps I didn’t read closely enough, and I apologize for that, but if there was a little more clarification about your feelings, I might understand better. Then again, you also describe your emotions as unknown to even you and maybe that was the point. I suppose I understand either way. Great job.
Julianne, you play MMO’s? <3
(that was supposed to be a #dead laughing face) @Daniel
I love your intro. I was drawn in like a piece of dust to a black hole. Also the Breakfast at Tiffany’s joke was really funny. The only thing is, I feel like your story weakened towards the end. I get the sad twist, but the emotional gravitas wasn’t there. I wish I could think of something more helpful to say but I got nothing at the moment.
great, really well written. but like daniel said i dont understand the sadness. which leads to a weak end.
I really liked the rising tension of your story. The foreshadowing of a fight/conflict brewing between you and Sunny. The lines “his would go on to have a lot more daunting implications for the year to come” and ” when we fought in that game, he always won. But there are no winners in a real fight” did well to make me feel anxious as I read the story and waiting for an moment, any careless phrase to set you off and have you unleash your anger on him.
The climax was pretty anticlimactic though. I know this is nonfiction and that you can’t simply reimagine yourself punching Sunny in the face and making him tap out to an anclelock; but the reality of the climax was pretty undramatic. You wrote “I had to open the door and give him his ball back. He was my best friend for the longest time. And I had lost just that” this paragraph is too rushed. It seems like a very fragile friendship for it to end so quickly number one and also, what were the emotions, as far as you know, that Sunny was feeling? How were you feeling in the moment? Expand on the banging on the door and the thought process and emotional aftermath of that moment to make the climax better
I don’t know if you did this intentionally or not, but I enjoy the fact that you wrote about the times you’ve spent playing a variety of games with your childhood friend, and there’s a weaving of this theme throughout your piece. It gives the writing a sense of relativity that causes the reader to constantly reminisce about his/her own experiences with friends. At least that was my interpretation and the feelings it conveyed in me. Where themes should be fun and exciting, usually alluding to happiness, you’ve managed to make it twist this to exemplify an unfortunate event in your childhood which is that of being at odds with a best friend.
Your introduction through me off a little in the beginning, mainly because I could quite understand what was going on, but you tied everything up nicely towards the end of the first paragraph. I like your use of references, especially the Breakfast at Tiffany’s bit, and your description of the various games you played with your friend was incredibly helping to people like me who aren’t familiar with the game Runescape. It shows you considered your audience. I would suggest that you try and flesh out more of the aftermath as far as your friendship with Sunny. Your ending feels rushed, I wanted to know more of the details as to what happened in those years of not speaking to each other. Overall though, I really enjoyed this piece. I felt like it was a refreshing work compared to some of your blog responses. I really like this much better, I can get a better sense of you as a writer.
Where games*
I enjoyed the fact you describe your journey with sunny the flashback of how it all started and transition to what it became later on. It is lamentable how you two ended things. From 2006- 2013 was along time that you and sunny spend apart from each other. The type of relationship you and sunny demonstrate to have is unique, not many people have friends that would have lasted so long as you did. I would have wanted to know more description of the moment you left sunny’s house. That would have evoked more feelings about what you were going through. I felt as if that important moment was too rush. If you put more dialogue between you and sunny will catch the readers attention.
I like the way that you start with an out of the box view of monopoly but the reference to the Third Reich seemed kind of out of place. The begging of this piece is a little slow for me. It needs something to break the obviously overwhelming admiration you had for your friend. I did love the line “But there are no winners in a real fight.” It seemed a little odd and a bit ominous and that really helped add to the mood of this piece at a point where I was almost exasperated with the direction it was going. The change in tempo in the middle of the 5th paragraph was a little abrupt for my taste, but that’s just my personal preference. I also wish that you had focused more on how your separation from your friend affected you. Its obvious you were sad and missed him but I wish you had spent more time on after the incident and less on building up to it. Overall its a good start.
SImilar to the others, I like the way you flowed through the different games you used to play in your childhood. You recognized that most of your audience is the same age as you and could surely relate to Neopets and Gameboys!
Structurally, your piece had a lot of tangents and arbitrary streams of consciousness. As a writer, this is appeasing to read and difficult to actually do. This piece pulled it off quite well. Particularly, it gave me additional reasons that affirm your title Sunny’s Blues. You have so many thoughts and recollections about Sunny and his siblings, it was hard to keep any out. Overall great piece. I only think you could have ended a bit stronger. Elaborate more on the idea of the “Blues” in the end.
Your story is written like a sonnet. with the last paragraph being the turn into the action and the resolution; and everything else above the turn being a set up for the turn. the tone of this piece is emotionless, as if your just stating facts instead of letting the story flow naturally. The story is about you and Sunny’s friendship and the crush you had on his sister, focus more on that. The details pull away from the bond of the friendship. another problem with this piece is organization. between shifting things around and “killing your darlings” the story is there. what i mean about organization is when you say ” Tiffany was my first wet dream”. good sentence that works, however because of where you placed it it felt random. at first i thought if you made that sentence its own paragraph then it would work, but it wouldn’t because you write about how sexy Tiffany is (a good place to put the wet dream quote) then go on about playing a game; and then suddenly in the middle of describing this game you mention shes your wet dream. if you placed it earlier its funny by placing it where you placed it it comes off creepy. the details about the game can be cut outt. i was waiting for all this game play to come back but it didn’t. what is illustrated is how much time you guys spent together and how he is better at games than you, but their isn’t a “friend moment”. a moment that i read and identify with as a bonding between two guys that care for one another. but maybe that’s the point. you guys didn’t talk for a decade so how close could you have been. your relationship ended because he embarrassed you in front of your crush something very trivial. the break up is suppose to be meaningful because you set up this grand soliloquy about “this is a day you will never forget” but the friendship and the break up doesn’t read authentically just overtly emotional about something trivial and it comes off childish, which i assume is the theme of this piece: maturity.
basing friendships off of video games and proximity; ending friendships with name calling and holding decade long grudges not because your still angry but off of principle. this is a nice piece on maturity i just wish it was more organized, less detailed and more transparent.
I found this piece intriguing because the narrator’s friendship with Sunny reminded me of a friend I had in junior high school. We would play Runescape obsessively for countless hours online and convince our classmates to pay us real money for Runescape items. The story is told in a first person point of view and talks about a bittersweet relationship between two friends. The voice of narrator is satirical and dark because the narrator reveals his personal thoughts to the reader in the line, “I had my first wet dream off of Tiffany. It came much later but… hey it is what it is. I wish I could’ve hadBreakfast at Tiffany’s after waking up.” Here we see that the voice of the narrator is a mix of the narrators at his present age and also during his adolescent years because he references an experience that occurs amongst pubesant males along with a more mature experience amongst adults.
I would suggest that the writer include a stronger reference to The Catcher in The Rye throughout the story because the piece has a similar structure. For example, in the line “Sunny said to her “he can’t do it, he’s a LOSER.” LOSER.” has the characteristics of J.D Salinger’s “Phony,” but it is not obvious to the reader at first glance, so I would suggest that the writer use other moments to reference the book. Also, the writer should describe Sunny’s reaction when the two of them play handball, so that the reader could indirectly find out information about Sunny’s personality. I would like to see the narrator use flashbacks within flashbacks since the piece references James Baldwin’s Sonny’s Blues. For example, the narrator could talk about Sunny in the sixth grade and then flashback to prior moment when Tiffany first met Sunny or something along the lines of that.
I like how you are very descriptive in recapping the events in your piece. The way you detail Sunny’s character suggest to the reader his level of importance in your life and intrigued me to find out what was the meaning of your title. I think describing Sunny the way you did help in showing your emotions for him which is something I believe the rest of your piece lacked. I couldn’t help but wonder if there was built up hostility you had towards Sunny to allow some so insignificant ruin the friendship you two shared. I also wished you would’ve touched on how Sunny may have felt. The sentence in which you talk about your wet dream with Tiffany was a little bit random and through off my attention in the story for a moment. I liked your conclusion but it was difficult to sympathize with you being that you didn’t touch on your feelings throughout the years you didn’t speak with him. Your writing is beautiful and really have the ability to capture a moment and engage the reader your use of details.
I like your piece, however, I felt like it was geared toward a limited amount of audience. If I had never played Runescape before, I would never know where Lumbridge would be located at and also it will be a totally different experience if others knew of the game Runescape or Neopets while reading your piece. I like how you are in the piece as a tag alone character. Your use of diction is good as well. I was able to connect to your piece, which was good.
You have some awkward word choices: outreach in personality, boring clicks, vintage Sunny. Not sure what “Vintage Sunny” was supposed to mean, when the adjective is usually used to describe an aged item? “XY” bible is what? Bro bible? Then use that term. I googled XY bible and it came up with nothing comprehensive.
Where you wrote “the three of us”—no, you can’t do that. That was so confusing. Before that, you had only talked about Sunny and you. You can’t reference a group as being “the three of us” if not all the members of the group were previously introduced, or even mentioned; that is why I was thrown off by the three of you. Introduce Tiffany before you use a term like that. Also, you should consider using more female-specific adjectives to describe Tiffany to really set a point that you were interested in her and found her attractive. I mean, Sunny may have been sexy as well, but maybe you don’t go that way, you know what I mean? Possibly explore this period when you first began noticing the opposite gender in such a way.
Where you wrote about his first calling you a loser, I suggest not putting the emphasis on the word “loser” by using all caps within the dialogue. Its impact is more powerful after you repeat the word in the narrative, as if it’s resounding in your head, and your perspective is what shifts the impact of this word. Can you actually expand on this? Give more background information to show us some hint as to why it may have been that he called you a loser, and also how he said this. There was absolutely no buildup to that, in my opinion. Even as people look back at a later point in life, they can usually see signs they missed the first time around. Explore these possible signs and slip them in so that we can be there in the moments with you.
I can really hear your voice with this piece. I think you have a good balance not explaining absolutely all your childish actions away with later analyses as an adult, but you stay true to telling the story. Just add more introspection to help us understand how impacted you were by this friendship, and what this memoir really means to you. (Sorry about this textual eyesore…)
Great piece. The voice of the narrator made me feel like a child again because it reminded me of the things that took place during those years of life. I like how you began the piece with a game of Monopoly, although it is a bit confusing at first what you are talking about. When you talk about the moment Sunny called you a loser, the build up of “then it happened” seemed too dramatic. I thought you were going to mention something more drastic. Like perhaps you had sex with Tiffany. Or lost your virginity with her or something.
The connection between you and Sunny could have been described stronger so that readers could get a sense of stronger friendship. Perhaps you could tell more things you have done together. Things that were unique to your friendship. Things in which readers could really find that feeling of nostalgia.
Storytelling was top notch. The buildup was beautifully done. The poker intro was nice and the explanation of runescape was well done too. But the ending happened so quickly. I wanted to know a little bit more about the fallout that occured between you guys. Did he try to contact you? Did you keep playing Runescape or any other current MMORPG? How have you changed as a person, due to this?
I really liked this piece, especially how you tied it to the present and that you recall the feelings and moments from back then. The first part of the story had me confused at first because I wasn’t sure what to expect. I am not that big of a video game player which also made it a bit harder for me to relate to the story. However I think you did a great job with this piece.
I would like to know more of your feelings of your friend, Sunny. I would also like to know more about how Sunny feels about you. Also, why did you feel the loss of Sunny so strongly? I think that your beginning could be more clear that you are playing Monopoly. I do not understand your reference to the Third Reich.
I liked your piece, and thought you made a good use of voice with your narration. When I began to read the piece “Sunny’s Blues”, I expected to read about brothers that were opposite, going through the struggles of life. I think you tried to cleverly intertwine James Baldwin’s Sonny’s Blues, into your piece, with the dynamic of your relationship. I see a reference to jail in the beginning, which leads me to believe you did this as a reference to the story. However, I feel that there should be a little more of a connection to the piece, for you to name it this. This is just because, as a reader, this title incinuates certain expectations.
I was also curious to find out, what were Sonny’s blues? In the Baldwin piece, he was referring to music, but I was a little unclear as to what blues you were referring to. I wanted to tap deeper into Sonny’s mind, so that maybe I could understand this character and his blues more.
I thought I had written a comment for this piece, but I didn’t so here it goes.
I really like your style of writing. I like how you are very descriptive when bringing back the events that meant most to you. As it was said in class in the opening paragraph you spoke about Monopoly, (which i had no idea since I myself don’t play as much) but maybe this is something you should make more clear because if it were someone else that doesn’t play Monopoly as often they would not understand what you were trying to convey. In revision, i would say to add more emotions to the piece. I would like to know how Sunny may have felt after the friendship was ruined? how did you feel? I was a bit confused when you spoke about your wet dream with Tiffany .
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