We die, because we need to live.

Her body bounced on the floor, like it was some latex dummy, life size and realistic…

It was real though – so very real. The red paint flowed out of her neck, like a budding rose that could no longer maintain structural stability. I suppose the life had fled from her eyes; eyes which were mere seconds ago alive with fear. The fear came from the cold metal pressed against the left side of her neck…


Oh how she fell. How the blood poured and life just left her. How God showed me there was no justice in the world; all things were limited and precious. Such dark poetry bestowed upon a young child. It has fucked me up for the rest of my life. I saw no evidence of heaven or hell, just that which was here and that which was no longer here. I knew she was gone from this world; I felt it deep within.


The ringing in my ears from the sound of the three shots the asshole emptied in her neck sang loudly in my ear. I couldn’t process any of this. I was too young and I hadn’t a true concept of death, though I supposed this moment changed that; life is the thing we go through before it all means nothing.


The night before I had a dream relating to this moment; how fucked up is it that an 8 year old is having dreams of shit like this happening before the events unfold before his eyes? I’m like a cheap rip-off of The Shining. Imagine a sewer-like environment cleaned up as much as it could be for people to live in. People were depressed in this unseen, but clearly felt, miasma of depression and boredom. Through some less travelled passage ways dark men in hoods who looked like black Klu Klux Klan silhouettes with red eyes stood ominously in the background. One such man came up behind this beautiful blonde woman at the end of the dream. It was abrupt, the terror in her eyes and heart being what I remember most about the dream.


Back to the waking world, and rewinding a bit… I had gone to court with my mother. She was divorcing my father. I must’ve been around eight years old, and a week or so before, we had gone to court prior to this visit as well. Doing anything in court is a process that involves multiple trips, lot’s of wastes of your time, and money, if even only for transportation. In this previous visit, I saw a young lad drawing Venom from marvel comics, and I thought the drawing was awesome. The next time around, he wasn’t in his spot, or anywhere to be seen, but I liked his idea so much that I decided to take residence in his spot and draw.


This placed me in an ideal position, several feet from the front row of chairs in the waiting room, making me able to see the action first. Life can happen in slow motion, and it has done so for me several times.


He appeared from behind one of the pillars like a chocolate Slender-man; he was tall, black, thin, in a black suit. It hadn’t fully dawned on me that this was my dream becoming reality. My nightmare. My real life nightmare.


I struggle between being agnostic and believing that God is out to get us. He’s out for all of us, but especially me. This is a nagging feeling buried deep inside me from this moment, but he took this woman from the world to remind me that I was next. I see the flaw of this logic, but I am human, and this sort of thinking is how I was affected.


He draws the gun from a shoulder holster, slightly puffing out his left lapel. He is probably right-handed like most of us. The silver cowboy gun is in his dark hand. It moves in a perfect sweep from his chest to his target spot. The cold metal — it must be so cold — kisses her neck. The cold metal wakes her up from this dreary miasma holding us all. Her eyes widen. She knows what is happening within an instant of this instant. Her head turns and she looks at him. Those beautiful eyes stare like a deer looking in headlights. His eyes are cold and barely noticeable, blended into the rest of his dark form. The end is here. Oh God the end is here. The baby she is holding in her arms… her baby echoing her beauty into the future; a physical memory of a woman who is no more.








My angle of view changed. Somehow, I knew what was happening. I gathered my things and ran, taking a step for each release of hot lead. When I had made my way some small steps to the side of the room, she fell in front of me. I already told you what that was like. I have to relive that moment in my mind often.  I’ll spare you from the repetition. The moment is gone now and I am here writing about it to you. The tenses change in this writing which is a no-no, but I feel that it is appropriate in this piece. The transitions may be weird, as I dance between multiple thoughts and feelings while writing this. I won’t change them so much. I want you to feel like I did; like I still do sometimes. When I relive this memory, I am in the past and the present at the same time (time isn’t as linear as we often perceive anyway). My heart beats faster and breath quickens as I dig deeper for a way to best describe to you the experience. I regurgitate it on this screen for you to read.


What if God is the bad guy? What if this is his venom?


I’ve tried to make peace with this moment. A few years ago I was able to recall that in her final split-second, the blonde woman passed her child onto someone else next to her. The other woman accepted. There is something beautiful there; the human instinct perhaps. It is a mother caring for her child as best she could. I am so sad now. I feel like crying but the upper part of my cheeks punches my tear ducts shut. Don’t you see people? It’s not up to God. It’s up to us. The only thing we know that exists in some mystical sense beyond our full understanding is death. If there is a God then that is what he is. Death. Make no mistake, our time can be anytime. Everything we do can come to a sudden halt at any time. I read a book written by a warrior once, as a way to come to peace with this tragedy. I’ll paraphrase his words: “Death is a big brother standing over our shoulder, reminding us to live.”


I understand now.


We die, because we need to live.

787 thoughts on “We die, because we need to live.

  1. Orhan Gokkaya

    I like the idea that all of this was happening around the age of 8. I felt like the writer’s main age to experience the cruel world was at that age. When you stated, “Life can happen in slow motion, and it has done so for me several times” I wanted to get some examples of a slow motion life. Is life slowing down because you were in a life threatening situation? As I read the piece I saw a lot of pronouns utilized to reference the characters, however, I wanted to know more about them, give details of the characters, make them come out in this piece. This piece sounds like a conspiracy theory especially when the writer states, “What if God is the bad guy? What if this is his venom?” I felt like the ending wasn’t strong enough you state, “I understand now.” You pull back your ideas only to yourself and disconnect with the reader. Also you become uncertain when you state, “what if.” It just makes the reader question it and lets the reader know not even the author knows about such situation.

  2. Gabriela

    The style of writing in this piece is very different then what we are used to reading from you. I like that you are versatile in your writing because it shows that you are a talented writer and you are able to master different writing styles. I love that you started the piece in a very poetic way which described an unfortunate scene that through your writing was almost beautiful. I appreciated the realness of the piece; it seemed very genuine because you make note to inform the reader that although you didn’t exactly remember the event, you were describing it as best you can. This shows your credibility because considering you were only eight years old, you most likely wouldn’t remember every single detail. The description you used to describe the shooter was so vivid and I was able to close my eyes and visualize everything that happened as if I have witnessed it myself. The one thing I would suggest is to flesh out more of your feelings on the event you saw. I want to know how this impacted you through life, besides it changing your outlook on God. Get even more personal about the impact it had on you. Give us examples of how this changed your life. Thanks for sharing, it was a beautiful piece.

  3. Li Huang

    Speaking of life and death, how about deadlines? You witnessed something very wicked at a tender age and I can understand if you view people with cynicism to the very least from that point on. But again, how about deadlines? We spoke in class about it. Is living reflective of procrastination and visa versa? Are the deadlines for submitting work our “deaths?” If so, if the task was completed at or before the deadline, does that mean we get to start a new cycle of life? And if the task was not completed by the deadline, does that mean that you are dead? I don’t know. Life and death. Procrastination and the deadline–they seem awfully reminiscent of each other after reading your story.

  4. Krystal Temple

    The fragmented style of writing both added to the characterization of the main character. The main character seems to be a confused child, who is dealing with death. The beginning of the piece seems almost like a nursery rhyme, and the imagery is so strong that I can almost visualize a life-sized doll bouncing back and forth. However, you do state that this was an actual event, and you solidify this concept at the conclusion of your piece. I believe that the voice of this piece shifts from a very poetic and yet childish one to a more vulgar one. I feel as if this piece would be stronger if you kept the same voice throughout. I appreciated the poetic voice, and it’s parallel to a nursery rhyme. Some of the additions to the piece seem random – although the random style does add to the theme of confusion that flows throughout the entire piece, I believe these ideas can be better tied in. You mention that you struggle between being agnostic and believing in God. I wanted to see it. I wanted you to add a scene or details of how you struggled with this as a child, meanwhile tying it into the death you witnessed. I love the ending line, and it allows your piece to end on a strong note: We die because we need to live. I would love for you to elaborate on this idea as well. Also, during the piece you seem to explain your style of writing within the body. I don’t believe that this is necessary. it is up to the reader to decipher your style of writing. Overall, great imagery! Great piece. I love pieces that don’t follow a traditional structure.

  5. Nadya Antoine

    I really admire the writing style of the piece. It’s written almost like a poem. When it comes to the subject matter you discussed, it’s interesting that you chose this style. Nevertheless, it flows quite nicely.

    A lot of the pieces we’ve read have been reminiscent and the writer has almost unattached him-self from the story he has written. Your small diversion with thoughts like “The tenses change in this writing which is a no-no, but I feel that it is appropriate in this piece. The transitions may be weird, as I dance between multiple thoughts and feelings while writing this”, strengthens your piece in that you explicitly tell us how you would like us to feel. That to me is great.

    The only elaboration I would like to see is more of the religious tone towards the end. Other than that, great piece.

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    Криптовалюта и технология ее добычи

    Криптовалюта — это цифровая денежная единица, которая является альтернативой фиатным деньгам и валютам. Любая цифровая единица, биткойн или альткоины, добывается по специальной технологии в цифровом пространстве. Криптовалюта хоть и имеет свой номинал и привязана к курсу, но не имеет степени защиты, порядкового номера и серии, а также других атрибутов, присущих реальным деньгам.
    Сами по себе биткойны и альткойны представляют собой сложный цифровой продукт со своим собственным криптокодом и зашифрованным реестром. Чтобы получить статус денег, даже если они цифровые, они должны пройти сложный механизм трансформации и обработки с помощью специальных технологий. Но и здесь не все так просто, как кажется на первый взгляд. Цифровая запись становится криптовалютой только в том случае, если на нее есть определенный спрос. Когда появляется возможность обменять цифровой продукт на фиатные деньги, он приобретает статус криптовалюты и может свободно конвертироваться.
    Если есть значительный спрос на криптовалюту, ее цена моментально увеличивается. За таким взлотами можно наблюдать нА пpимепе кpиптовалюты №1 биткойн, которые нА момент напиcания этиx cтpок pеpецок отметку в $7500 за единицу, xотя вечной текущего года ОН cтоил не более $2000 и многие аналитики пpедcказывали кpакс его. Был спрос, поэтому предложение подорожало до рекордного уровня.
    На сегодняшний день насчитывается более 10 000 криптовалют, добываемых по специальным технологиям, и, судя по тенденции, это не предел. Как уже отмечалось, криптовалюта добывается в безразмерном цифровом пространстве с помощью мощнейшего вычислительного оборудования, основу которого составляют функциональные процессоры и видеопроцессоры. Многочисленные компьютеры объединены в сложную систему, благодаря которой происходит извлечение цифрового продукта.
    Майнинг криптовалюты – удовольствие недешевое, так как в его процессе тратится большое количество электроэнергии, предназначенной для самих мощностей, а также для проветривания и проветривания. Эксперты в этой области считают, что самое прибыльное место в мире для майнинга криптовалют — Исландия. Там естественный холод эффективно играет роль охлаждающих устройств, поэтому себестоимость производства в Исландии гораздо ниже, чем в любой стране Юго-Восточной Азии или Латинской Америки.

    В любом случае извлечение цифрового продукта — прибыльный процесс, который в последнее время приобрел огромную популярность во всем мире.

    Что такое криптовалюта, мыльный пузырь или финансовое будущее планеты? Однозначно сказать довольно сложно, так как события в этой сфере развиваются стремительно и молниеносно. Взлеты и падения курса — яркое тому подтверждение, поэтому строить долгосрочные прогнозы — дело неблагодарное и рискованное.

    История появления криптовалюты и ее дальнейшее развитие

    История создания криптовалют началась с рождения биткойна – криптовалюты №1, которое произошло 3 января 2009 года. Его появление связано с Сатоши Накамото, который якобы стал создателем биткойна.

    Первоначальной задачей перед создателем криптовалюты была разработка клиентов и устранение мелких проблем и багов во взаимодействии между узлами связи. Уже в декабре того же года появилась более продвинутая версия первой криптовалюты Биткойн 0.2.0, поддерживаемая на Linux и использующая несколько потоков для генерации блоков. Следует отметить, что в то время большая часть планеты не знала о событии и не могла оценить далеко идущие последствия появления первых цифровых денег.
    Тем временем программа добычи биткойнов успешно развивалась, и уже летом 2010 года появилась версия Биткойн 0.3. Затем идет рост активности по добыче криптовалют, а мощные видеокарты становятся стандартным оборудованием для майнинга. На данный момент создается первая майнинг-ферма (ее построил анонимный пользователь ArtForz), которая впоследствии послужила базой для промышленного производства криптовалют.
    Конец 2010 года ознаменовался прощанием Сатоши со своим творением: он покинул созданный проект. Его уход не повлиял на судьбу цифровых денег, а дальнейшее продвижение проекта взяло на себя сообщество.
    Появляются новые алгоритмы майнинга, новые возможности и новые криптовалюты. Однако по мере роста популярности биткойна возникают первые сложности, связанные с его добычей.
    Идея или том, что можно кpиптовать иcпользовать ВО ВРЕМЯ pacchotax По финансовым операциям, заподилaць в году 201Z, и c этого вpемени цифpовые деньги эффективно пpименяютcя для оплаты счетов и покупок как в оптовой топговле, так и познице. На сегодняшний день в мире существует огромное количество торговых точек, где к оплате принимают криптовалюты. Большинство из них ориентировано на биткойн, однако путь для других альткойнов уже открывается.

    Преимущества и недостатки криптовалюты

    Начать следует с преимуществ, так как это те, которые больше всего интересуют пользователей:

    -Криптовалюта – выгодная форма взаимных договоренностей, позволяющая проводить сделки, минуя банки и другие учреждения. Продавец и покупатель из разных стран могут рассчитаться друг с другом, используя безопасную сеть блокчейн.
    -Низкие комиссии, не зависящие от сделок, сумм и местонахождения контрагента.
    -Сеть работает без перерывов и выходных в режиме 24/7/365.
    -Высокая степень защиты и безопасности операций.
    -Никаких шансов на подделку и подлог.
    -Динамичный курс, не зависящий от политических режимов и правительств.
    -Отсутствие посредников и банков.
    -Быстрые переводы.

    Это далеко не все преимущества криптовалют перед обычными деньгами, их гораздо больше. Однако наряду с плюсами есть и определенные минусы, о которых в последнее время громко заявляют скептики:

    -Негативное отношение правительств различных стран к криптовалюте, введение регламентов, запрещающих ее обращение, майнинг и обмен.
    -Возможность потерять все заработанные деньги, если вы потеряете секретный код кошелька.
    -Обеспеченность криптовалюты золотым запасом.
    -курс гектабилей.

    Исправлены многие недостатки в режиме работы, так как это новый способ взаимодоговоров, а технологии еще не отработаны до конца. Но отношение государств к цифровым деньгам тревожно-настороженное, так как несколько стран уже отказались от их обращения. Алжир, Ливан, Китай по неизвестным причинам ввели ряд ограничений, которые никак не способствуют развитию и укреплению криптовалюты.

    Самые популярные криптовалюты

    – Естественно, первое место в рейтинге криптовалют занимает биткойн, который известен многим пользователям и который добывается большинством майнеров. Именно биткойн используется для взаимных договоренностей, в том числе в розничных сетях, на заправках, в гостиницах и в сфере жизни. У него самый высокий обменный курс по отношению к доллару. Это самый капитализированный цифровой продукт, который часто называют цифровым золотом.

    – Затем идет Ethereum (ETH), созданный для децентрализованных онлайн-сервисов (Dapps) на основе блокчейна. Эфириум по праву считается цифровой нефтью и пользуется высокой популярностью и спросом.

    -Третье место долгое время занимал стейблкоин Tether (USDT), выпущенный в 2015 году компанией Tether Limited. Как следует из названия, обменный курс этой цифровой валюты стабилизируется за счет привязки к фиатной валюте, в данном случае к доллару США. В кpиптообществе xодило множество небезосновательныx cлухов отноcительно недоктaточного обеcпечeния USDT долларaми csha, однакo точка до верили вопpосе была pocтавлена ??2020 гoду пeшением cуда гопода-хю йопк, также обязавшем компанию публиковат публиковать

    Из этой тройки лидеров бронза изредка переходит к разным криптовалютам, но USDT чаще других удается занять эту позицию. И это неудивительно, ведь по мнению многих экспертов стейблкоин используется для покупки криптовалюты в Китае.

    Почему Биткойн приобрел огромную популярность

    О высоком курсе криптовалют

    ??Нет. 1 и его эффективную технологию, которую вы уже знаете, но также важно написать о том, что оригинальный биткойн имеет множество копий. Сначала сеть была разделена на две независимые цепочки — Bitcoin и Bitcoin Cash (в августе 2017 года), в ноябре 2018 года появился еще один форк Bitcoin SV. В дальнейшем их число только увеличивалось. Как обcтоят дела c кpиптовалютой в Поцций 1 янвaпя 2021 года в Поцции вступает в силу Федеpальный закон «О цифровыx финанcовыx активакс, и Digital Audio вaлюте о внесении изменений в отдельные законодательные акты Поццийцкой Федерации» от З1.07.2020 N 25920ФЗ.

    Данны закон даот оппеделение кpиптовалюте, pазpешает эо покупать, выпуcкать, пpодавать, cовеpшать c ней дpугие cделки, Нр заpпещает эо иcпользование в пoccии для оплаты товаpов и у.члуг, КАК y пекламу платежей цифpовыми деньгами.

    Эти документы вводят обязанность граждан подавать налоговую декларацию, в которой будет отражаться сам факт владения цифровой валютой, а также операции с ней.

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    Whether you are building a brand new home or purchasing one that has been around for a long time, flooring will be an important consideration for the design. If you consider the living space taken by the floors in a home, you might realize why flooring has a significant effect on your home’s aesthetic. It can determine whether a space looks relaxed, luxurious, warm, intimate, beautiful, small , or big.

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    Where you can start when considering floors type you should go for each room should be to step back and look at your unique situation. The amount of rooms do you have within your house? Who uses each and every room? Do you have household pets or children, along with which rooms do these cards frequent? How often does one clean the floor? Things you want to spend with each room?

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    Consider the Location of your house
    Writing for the sites that provide tips to firm, TheBalancesmb. com, Erin Eberlin, advises in which “the area of the nation in which your property is located can also have an impact around the best type of floor to use. ” Eberlin continues: “In parts that are hot all year round and those with a large amount of humidity, tile is normally preferred over wooden or carpet. ”

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    As a homeowner, one of several factors that you are going to always need to keep in mind is your property’s valuation. Many people want to get the high quality products possible if they decide to sell their property later on. Therefore , you will need to be sure that you select floors that will make your house appear more expensive and popular with future home buyers.

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    4. Pick out Flooring Based on Space Function
    As much as you see a room’s function before you furnish the idea, you will need to determine how floors in each space will impact this room’s activities.

    For instance , you are likely to spend a lot of time standing when you are with the food prep, possibly getting the flooring oily. Therefore , you might want to select a flooring type for the kitchen that may be nonslip or better to clean. Various types just like vinyl, laminate, or maybe tile would be appropriate.

    Let’s look quickly at the main suites in a home and pair them with the very best flooring options for their functions.

    Kitchen: Look at safety, cleaning, and kitchen traffic as well as go with vinyl, layered, and ceramic tile.

    Family living rooms: The family unit living rooms will be some of the most popular places in your home for both your along with guests. The most popular forms of flooring in family living rooms in modern homes, as recognized by ConsumerReports. org, are solid wood as well as engineered wood. Rug is still a popular selection because it’s warm and inviting.

    Rooms: Each family member can spend a considerable amount of time period sleeping, working, as well as relaxing in their master bedroom. Carpeting is the best alternative for this room when you will be spending a great deal of your time barefooted. Wood, laminate, and vinyl are also great options regarding bedrooms.

    Kid’s playroom: The floor in the child’s playroom is likely to have much abuse; hence, it needs to be resilient while remaining comfy. This is why rubber floors comes to mind whenever we think about this room.

    Galerie, mudrooms, and doors and windows: The floors during these spaces will be used by means of almost everyone who finds your home; therefore , you should have something durable but nonetheless beautiful. Consider tile flooring, mainly hard and porcelain, because these tiles are strong and easier to thoroughly clean. Natural stone will also work well in this area.

    Bath rooms: An average human being can spend around 416 days of their living in a bathroom (translating to over 23 short minutes a day); therefore , the bathroom should have some sort of durable and wonderful floor. Some of the best tiles for this room consist of clay, stone, page vinyl, and linoleum.

    Home office: With many people increasingly working from home, that room is getting a lot more attention. Thus, the bottom in this space must be durable, practical, and comfy. Consider carpet, solid wood, ceramic tile softtop, and laminate for it.

    5. Keep Your Individuality in Mind
    Some people want to radiate warmth consistent with their characters, yet others want to come across as serious. Your home, or perhaps rooms in your home, enables you to show your personality. As an illustration, someone who wants to demonstrate a connection with mother nature may want to go with wooden or stone. But, someone looking for a more sophisticated look may want shiny finish porcelain.

    6. Choose a Colors In line with the Mood you Want to Generate
    Distinct colors generate different atmospheres as well as moods in a space. For instance, selecting reddish flooring can make a room feel cozy. Nevertheless, you would want to steer clear of this color at sex because it’s stimulating. However , if you planned to choose a flooring coloring for a child’s bed room, you may want to go with one thing bright and daring.

    The color of your floor coverings can also be a statement with your personality. For instance, an even more outgoing person should go with bright colors like yellow, while a more reserved individual may want something darker or green. So , you will want to consider the everyone of different members on your family before you determine the type or color of flooring to put in their particular room.

    7. Enjoy the Trends

    See the Trends
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    9. Be sure you Can Meet Installation Requirements
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    10. Focus on Maintenance

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    Some floors options, like tiles, can be cleaned with ease, while some, like carpets and rugs, will require more job once in a while to maintain. Furthermore, some wooden flooring may need to be sanded and varnished once in a while. If you don’t want to be concerned about all these things, you might want to consider something that desires less maintenance, like stone or normal ceramic.

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