Since I will be spending a whole semester with you guys I basically decided to share this piece with you. I hope you guys enjoy.
Late Surprise – Amilka Lopez
“You are a very healthy girl,” my doctors said, “You have no signs of sickness everything is good conditions”. Well at least that’s what it seemed like at the time.
When I graduated high school I remember that for a totally healthy girl the doctors appeared to be more interested in my labs. I think this was when I suddenly became sick. The doctors promptly made monthly appointments for me and I was always called a day before to remind me. “Is this the parent or guardian of Amilka Lopez, we are just calling from the doctors office to let you know that you’ve got an appointment tomorrow at 2.” I really began to hate hearing this every month.
From what I recall, all I truly remember from my summer 2009, is working at the daycare and visiting the doctor’s office. Visiting the doctor’s office was not a normal thing to me anymore; I was actually anxious and a bit scared because I did not know what was wrong with me. Every time I asked the doctor, she would just say, “Something is wrong with your blood”, and when I asked the receptionist that will call me to inform me that I still have to go in and take more labs she will tell me, “You have abnormal blood”. I didn’t know how I should of taken this but I actually thought it was pretty funny, “How can someone have abnormal blood. What am I not normal?”
The doctors kept getting the same results over and over again so they all came to a conclusion and they decided to refer me to a specialist. The Rheumatologist is a specialist who deals with blood work and many autoimmune diseases. I remember when I went into the hospital for the very first time, I saw a lot of ill children and it freaked me out because I thought I was going to die. My Rheumatologist also made monthly appointments with me and I was required to do some biopsies. Every time I went to my appointments I had my good friend Giselle or my mother there with me. Giselle was actually there when I got a biopsy and I remember when I grasped her hand because I was terrified of the big needles they were going to insert on my neck. After that the doctors said some pretty scary things because they were still unsure of what I had since my labs weren’t accurate. They said I had a thyroid problem on my neck, cancer and then lupus.
I believe it was November 2010 that I had been diagnosed with lupus. Lupus is an autoimmune disease where white blood cells attack your organs: brain, liver, kidney etc. instead of protecting them against any harm. The sickness alone cannot go away but they are treatments that can help control it. The doctor immediately told me what was best for me and then she prescribed me my first set of pills. I remember my boyfriend and his mother trying to teach me how to take my pills. His mother would give me a glass of milk and tell me to chug it and not to think of anything for that moment and I did, I took my pills for the very first time.
I never really expected last semester to be difficult on me. It all started when they referred me to the Adult Rheumatologist. Since mid June of 2009 I began seeing a rheumatologist specialist at The Children’s hospital at Montefiore (CHAM). My previous doctor Kathy-Kenneth said “It is time to let you go, but you still have couple of months till you turn twenty-one, so we will see you till then.” I was very sad and disappointed when I heard her say this to me. I mean I knew that sooner or later I had to switch doctors but it all happened so quick.
Ever since I started seeing CHAM I felt somewhat better. I still felt tired and weak most of the time but that’s one of the symptoms of Lupus. I never really got any rashes on my face only the lesions on my scalp that I hated so much “Well I still do”. The lesions are just so itchy that I always felt like yanking them out.
I always went to my monthly appointments; I never missed any of them because I believe that my health is more important than anything. The doctor’s office at CHAM will always call me before my appointments to make sure that I will be there and if not to reschedule. As I walked every month to my appointments I felt happy. I knew that I had good doctors because they will always call me just to ask me how I was and to tell me how my blood results came up.
Unfortunately, October 23rd 2012 was my last visit with Doctor Illowite (the head Dr.) and Kathy Kenneth. Now I had to go to the Adult Rheumatology. My experience at the Adult section was terrible. My insurance somehow stopped working and a week before the new appointment with my new doctors I happen to get a call from the front desk saying, “May I please speak with Amilka Lopez? It’s from the Lupus Clinic at Montefiore.” I respond and say, “Yes, you are speaking with her.” and they tell me that I apparently have no insurance and that the doctor will not be able to see me unless I paid out of my own pocket. This was when all hell broke loose because I stopped seeing CHAM and my lupus wasn’t in remission anymore. I needed to see a doctor right away. A couple of weeks later my mother tells me that I was no longer under her insurance and that I had to apply on my own now because I was considered an adult. “Thanks Obama, you made me miss my appointment- ahh”. Any who I reapplied and when I finally see the doctor they told me that regardless if I had no insurance they would have still seen me because I am sick.
In addition, I am currently seeing the Doctors at New York- Presbysterian, the #1 hospital in New York for Lupus. I believe the hospital just got so sick of seeing me every two weeks in the Emergency Room with new lesions and outbreaks that they referred me and told me to make some changes with my insurance so that I would be able to see the Nephrology, Ophthalmology, Rheumatology, and Dermatology doctors there.
So far I have three to four months seeing the doctors at Columbia and my lesions still come and go but I am so much happier than I was at Montefiore. The doctors now really do care a lot about me. My Rheumatologist has me seeing other specialist just to make sure that I have no other disease apart from the lupus. My Nephrology doctor just did a biopsy this Wednesday and I am still waiting for the results to come.
At the moment I am proud to say that I am a lupus fighter. Having Lupus has really made me stronger and opened up my mind more towards other ill patients. I can some how relate to them more since I myself am also ill. My life has completely changed ever since I was diagnosed. Some of memories can never be forgotten and this is one.
Many things surface out of seemingly nowhere. You can be a thirty year veteran at a corporation and after stocks take a nosedive or a new executive starts to run the scenes, you could lose your job in under a week. A friendship that has been solidified for a decade can stagnate in less than twenty four hours. The food that seems to be simmering to perfection on the stove may envelope to much heat and become overcooked or burnt in a matter of minutes. Hell a sniper’s bullet is less than a second from reaching your head. So what is the meaning of all this? How is this relevant to the story? Lupus is a tricky motherfucker. Like most diseases that hibernate or strike seemingly out of nowhere, it is almost impossible to pinpoint beforehand. Things are going fine, and the narrator is labeled as “perfectly healthy.” I don’t want to put things in sour perspective, but some of the apples and oranges that we find at supermarkets seem “perfectly healthy” from the outside. But we purchase ’em and find out that it is all rotten and feisty on the inside. It’s like taking off your blanket covers for once and finding the blanket itself to be all chewed up.
There is no easy way out. That’s because there’s no efficient solution. You see when it comes to religion and science, both end up eating the flesh off their own bones. Religion condones in hypocrisy. It’ll say one thing, or it’ll say that it’ll do one thing, and then low and behold, the other (usually the opposite comes about). Now science also undermines itself. Like I’ve mentioned in class, science, particularly the bio-medical field, has this glamorous method of boasting that it’s found the name of a new disease and then abruptly sticking its own foot in its mouth when it comes to finding a cure for it. Lupus is autoimmune, and like many autoimmune functions, it is extremely difficult to treat, for how can you severe the fetus from a pregnant woman without severely endangering the lives of both? M.D.s themselves are very inefficient contrary to what they would like to have you believe in that Hugh Laurie skit who everyone in Long Island is the owner of. Thyroid issue? No, no. Cancer? Nah? Lupus? Sorry, we’re just two decades late upon informing you. “You have abnormal blood.” Well you must be a Marvel Comic Superhero. See how vague the medical profession can be? It’s depressing, I know. I’ve dealt with it.
The fact that doctors can’t provide you with better Lupus treatment is overshadowed by the fact that your medical insurance had run out and they wouldn’t see you unless you paid out of your own pocket. The whole damn point of a society is so that its citizens are protected, even it is from themselves. And then they moved you from hospital to hospital like shipment from one facility to the next. This is called fallacy. The fallacy of western medicine. There are other factors in play like always, but that is my headline for this whole situation. Up until now, it would seem like I’m all up in your face telling you how much this all sucks. But let me let you in on something. It may not be as bad, but I know that nauseating feeling of waking up every morning. I have severe bipolar disorder, along with several other mental inequities. I know what the shrinks are going to say before they say it and guess what? I have a real thyroid problem. But for me, theses symptoms could be detected before they fully surfaced. Like you, I am on medication. However, the principal difference between your condition and mine, aside from the fact that one is more life-threatening, is that yours manifested itself for twenty years. Neville Chamberlain assured the people of Britain that he had “secured peace” for his generation. A few years later, World War II erupted. This is called the “calm before the storm.” This calm can be a cold blooded reptile and nest itself for eons before it hatches its master plan.
I know Amilka. Life is Hard. Life is Cruel. I am sorry.
Breathing was something I had a very difficult time doing while reading your story. There were many incredibly powerful images that made this frightening for me, specifically the moment when you grabbed your friend’s hand as a needle was going into your neck. Also the ‘yanking’ of lesions. Though I cannot truly imagine what these moments are like, reading your story I can almost feel it happening to me.
Your story is interesting and it left me wanting to know more. Knowing of your health issues has its own fears, but suspicion without proof can be just as unsettling. Being kept in the dark about your health when you are young is something that adults do to protect the ones they love and perhaps it is something you could reflect on deeper in this piece. Did you ever think that your doctors (or parents) were lying to you about not knowing what was going on? Also, how old were you during this process? How did you feel when diagnosed? Obviously there would be fear, but was there any relief in finally knowing? What was the reaction of your family? How did your illness affect your daily life, if at all?
Overall, you could work on your use of tenses. For example, “I always went to my monthly appointments; I never missed any of them because I believe that my health is more important than anything.” Perhaps you could stay in the past in that sentence. Also, there was a part where you wrote “Well, I still do,” but I don’t believe that it was something said, it was more of an afterthought and maybe parenthesis would have worked better. This is also true for the “Thanks, Obama,” comment.
I will admit that I was unsure on the overall point you were trying to make. Early in your piece you mention the regular trips to the hospital before your diagnosis, then the changes in practitioners also being a factor to deal with, as well as the issues arising when you were uninsured, but then in your last paragraph you finally mention what having lupus means and call yourself a survivor. Is your story about the struggles of the medically uninsured in America? Is it about the difference a change in hospital can do to the wellness of a patient? Or just the overall struggle of having lupus? I’d like for that to be clearer. You also mention being able to connect to other ill patients. How? Are you identifying yourself simply with other lupus patients? Are your identifying yourself with those who have had issues with health insurance, or patients who have had to deal with illnesses at a young age? You say you’ll never forget “this moment” in the last paragraph, but which moment are you specifically referring to since your piece does not revolve around a single moment? Was it the moment you were diagnosed, and if so, please expand. This is an emotional story and with just a few more touch-ups, it could be true tear-jerker. Thank you for sharing.
Btw, I was also given the boot at 21 and told to apply for medical insurance on my own. I’ve been uninsured for over a year because the process is long, but mostly because I’m lazy. Dammit, Obama!
Firs thing i have to say is you can be on your parents medical insurance until you turn 26, so i don’t understand why people blaming Obama. if you knew the healthcare plan, which obviously you don’t, you’d know to blame your insurance company or yourself. beside that its a well written memoir.
the journey that you go through is reflected upon the reader as you travel from health, to abnormal blood, to lupus treatment and the pressures and problems that that introduces. the story about taking pills for the first time was a good passage because it set up your mindset for the rest of the story. everything that you experienced after that was uncharted territory and i could imagine the confusion and fear that you must have went through.
looking back on the story the tone you use strikes a nice balance with the reader between showing sympathy, but not having them feel sorry for you.
personally its always hard for me to critique memoirs because of the sensitive material that most of them deal with. i did enjoy your story and it re -reminded me of the devilish nature of the insurance companies and hospitals
I’ll begin with some straightforward suggestions. You need to work on your dialogue. You dropped a line of dialogue in the middle of the sentence in the last few paragraphs: “’Thanks Obama, you made me miss my appointment- ahh’.” About the punctuation, the closing quotation mark should come after the period. Also, there is no speaker tagged here. I think after your first two lines of dialogue in the story, I wasn’t sure the significance of the rest of them anymore; because the story is mainly summary, dialogue will stick out—make sure that these lines do need to be in dialogue rather than the summary. Make sure they are lines of which you really need to quote the speaker in order to deliver your point. You also have run-on sentences with comma splices. If we need to pinpoint your main issue with grammar, it seems to be with punctuation.
If possible, you could delve into your memories and share about your experiences using sensory/emotional details in order to bring us more into them. For example, your anxious feelings at your doctor visits (did your stomach flop, heart beat quickly?), taking your first set of pills (describe what they looked like, how big they were), losing your insurance (the panic you went through). You talk about the significance of your health and it being “more important than anything.” When did this belief begin to develop? Was it after you were diagnosed with lupus and you then began to realize its importance, or was this always the case? You have an opportunity to go deeper here. Help the reader see how important health is, and you could even change their views about their own healths.
I think you have so much to tell us. You have this huge opportunity to change a reader’s viewpoint, especially regarding health. If you strengthen this story even further, I could see it getting published somewhere. (If you have the time, you could visit The Writing Center; they’ve been very helpful to me.) I really hope you’ll work on this piece. It’s inspiring that you have such strength in your fight against lupus. I wish you the best!
great story but its told in a very choppy way. It was hard to read at times because it had no flow. But you have a great story here thanks for sharing it with us, but you could turn this into a better story with a few grammar fixes and stuff
Amilka,
I really enjoyed reading your piece because it opened my eyes to Lupus from the prospective of the individuals who are fighting with the illness. I know a few people fighting with the illness and I never understood what types of things they go through until I read your piece and got a little bit of insight. You say that tiredness and weakness are part of several symptoms of this illness, perhaps you could give readers a little more of the everyday struggle with the illness (i.e. other symptoms or malfunctions) in order to develop a stronger connection for readers to this illness. During one part in the piece, you said that you were learning to take your medication and you were told to chug a glass of milk. Is there any reason why you took the medication with milk as opposed to water? I’m not familiar about how taking the medication for Lupus works, but maybe you can talk about this a little more to make it clear.
The voice of this piece was great as well, however, it is important to keep in mind who your target audience (or readers) is (are). I say this because there are moments where the voice is serious about the problems associated with the condition, and other moments where I feel there isn’t as much seriousness as thought to be expected. For example the voices in the “thanks Obama” and “Any who” lines. I’m not sure if this is meant to be that way for a certain effect, perhaps I have misunderstood, I don’t know. I would also say make sure to go over the piece and proof read for any small mistakes of grammar errors. I am saying all these things respectfully. Again, I enjoyed this piece and it definitely gives insight to this widespread illness. : )
While informative, I feel like your piece wasn’t as emotive as it could have been. Perhaps it is the old adage “show don’t tell”- but I feel like your piece could have used more showing; particularly this sentence “when I went into the hospital for the very first time, I saw a lot of ill children and it freaked me out because I thought I was going to die”- expand on that. What did the children look like? How did you know they were sick? How were you freaking out? Were you shaking? Did your arms twitch? Was your throat dry and did you stutter when you spoke?
I also noticed your lack of exclamation points; even on sentences that earn high excitement. With the points, I read the piece in a very monotone way and that hindered my ability to get sunk me into the reading. Given your informal vocabulary in the piece, I suspect you want to reader to have a more casual read- so exclamation points would take nothing away from the narrative and even enhance it.
I am sorry to hear that you have been diagnosed with Lupus. The imagery used in your piece is great, for example, “I was terrified of the big needles they were going to insert on my neck.” Just imagining a needle that is going to be inserted in your neck gives me the chills. You can work on word choice for example, “After that the doctors said some pretty scary things” Stay strong and fight against Lupus. “At the moment I am proud to say that I am a lupus fighter. Having Lupus has really made me stronger and opened up my mind more towards other ill patients.” I like your positive attitude which gives a great vibe to your piece. Thanks for sharing something this personal.
I found this piece very fascinating because it possessed the characteristics of being a great nonfiction piece. The story uses a common theme in writing where the main character overcomes a struggle that produces a cathartic experience for the writer and also the reader. The opening of the narrative was very cut-throat, which was a well-executed literary device that made the story more intimate because the reader felt as if they were overhearing an individual’s conversation in the line, “You are a very healthy girl,” my doctors said, “You have no signs of sickness everything is good conditions”. Well at least that’s what it seemed like at the time.” Also, the overall essay did a great job establishing an intimacy with the reader due to the use of specific dates as if it was someone’s journal entry.
I really appreciated how the writer included Giselle’s character because it revealed the main character’s personality before her hospital visits, but the story lacked an emotional connection between the two. One important element that the piece lacked was the meticulous description of the main character doctor visits. For instance, the writer could say, “Sitting in the beige chair looking at the tubes of blood being drained from my arm made me realize the fragility of the human body,” which would really strengthen the piece. Finally, there were many parts in the essay where the writer could show more and tell less. For example, in the last paragraph the author could use a story about the main character entering a competition to show a change in her outlook on life since she overcame the greatest competition against death.
Amilka, let me start off by saying that you are such a strong person to be able to write so openly about such a sensitive topic as the one that you are currently facing. The entire time I was reading your piece, I couldn’t help but feel anxious to keep on reading. I was so intrigued from the very beginning about what your piece was about. I expected it to be a serious topic through the quote you used to open your story. It’s the typical cliché, everything is great nothing wrong. You can’t help but expect that things will in fact be going wrong. That was an excellent way of prepping us for the heaviness of the content in this piece.
I enjoyed the way you defined important words such as Lupus and Rheumatologist because it provides the reader with a better understanding of the word and through that it shows just how serious of a topic this is. Overall I felt like your piece was a page right out of your journal. It was written in a way that made me feel like I was a stranger reading about events in your life without permission. This made the piece much more intimate and overall very powerful.
I would like to thank you for sharing such a personal story because that takes courage. The first thing I would like to address is about your form. You chose to use a voice and tell the story to the reader instead of placing us there in present tense. Sometimes when you were switching back and forth from telling the story in the present that happened in the past you would switch your tense back and forth within the same sentence. For example:
“The lesions are [present] just so itchy that I always felt [past] like yanking them out.
“I knew [past] that I had good doctors because they will [present] always call me just to ask me how I was [past] and to tell me how my blood results came [past] up.
My second comment is that I’m sensitive to your piece because my mom had cancer. It would be very hard for me to write a piece like this, so it’s a little hard to separate the story aspect of your piece. However, if I had to, I would have liked to see more of the idea of a “late surprise” played with throughout your piece. Example: Maybe you could have kept your audience in the dark a little longer about your disease, and how it affected you. I would have liked a stronger ending ” Some of memories can never be forgotten and this is one.” Instead of telling me that was a strong memory, I would have preferred that you illustrated this for me instead. Also, I am left to wonder which memory you’re talking about. Would this memory be the actual diagnosis, your frequent doctor visits, your switch from the children doctor to the adult doctor or the withholding of your doctor visits because of your insurance? One suggestion I have is that whatever this particular unforgettable memory is, you go into great detail about it. You can describe the scene, and the feelings you had when you received your diagnosis… etc. You describe multiple visits and scenes, and I liked how you described your fear for large needles. One thing I really liked, was there was no guessing when it came to your piece. I am slightly familiar with lupus, but I would have had to google the disease to refresh my memory on the particulars of the disease. Call me a lazy reader but… I’m reluctant to do things like that sometimes (a lot – I lied). Your piece offers the definitions up front. You explain your disease, and terms that help our understanding. In conclusion, I love how your piece drew me in and made me want to continue reading until the end. 🙂
First I’d like to commend you on opening up on such a personal issue that you are currently struggling you with. Before commenting on your writing, I sympathize with you not only as your peer, but as a lupus fighter myself.
Because I’m familiar with the disease on a more intimate level, your story took me on a reenactment of own experiences. As the reader, I immediately wanted to have more of an insight on what took you to the doctor in the first place? was it a routine check-up or physical or did you feel ill? I also wished you had stated Dr. Kathy’s name before you stated your diagnosis because you then go backwards which was a bit confusing. It would have also been good to state her significance in the situation beforehand. I liked how you described particular events like bringing your friend to your biopsy because that took me to that moment with you. I would have to say that the conclusion to your piece wasn’t satisfying. Throughout “Late Surprise” I hoped for description to your personal thoughts on your way of coping with Lupus eternally. I can understand your difficulty with being descriptive given what you chose to write about. Beautiful piece Amilka.
Thank you for sharing your story. It was good but I would like to hear more about how it has affected you (not physically as much as emotionally or how it has changed your outlook on life). The piece was progressed at a good pace but was a little choppy and almost textbookish. Instead of seeing things from your point of view I felt like I was seeing the events taking place from outside.
There were certain moments that really stuck with me. You bringing your friend with you for the biopsy and holding her hand was a strong point in the piece. I’m not a fan of needles either and I could almost feel your anxiety and fear. Also the frustration of dealing with health insurance is something I know all too well. You should double check your plan and see if your covered under your mother’s health insurance until 26, because I know that like Kerel I’m covered till then too.
Either way you have a very strong first draft and your a very strong person to go through all this, and to share it with us. Thank you.
I am glad you are feeling better Amilka :-). I enjoyed your piece, it was well written. I really enjoyed the first part because it filled me with suspense. I think you can improve the last part of your piece by using the same tactic as you did in the first part. Otherwise great job 🙂
I find your writing to be suspenseful. You really make us care about you and your condition. We can feel your passion. I am moved by your questioning your normality as you explain your condition very well. You seem to have a very good understanding of your subject matter. I am very glad that you found the right doctor for you, you made me hopeful for your condition. The timing of your paper is very good because we all need to learn the value of having insurance. However, the age limit of 21 years to be under a parent’s insurance is not something that Obama has created. Indeed, this age limit came into effect decades ago, that is long before Obama came to office. Your conclusion was very impactful, and could be an example to many patients with a chronic illness.
I enjoy a lot the quote that you dislike of the doctor. What is normal or abnormal? This depends on the readers gain knowledge. But in reality, who is normal everyone is different and no one is perfect. I enjoyed reading your piece, especially the details you added with the dates. I enjoy reading things that explain things and back that up with facts.
The major thing that stood out for me was the setting. You described the setting perfectly and I felt like I was there with you dreading that monthly reminder of your doctors appointments. The part in which you had your friend accompany you to an appointment, was able to tell me that you were afraid, but not actually saying that you were afraid.
It was nicely written and your explanation for certain medical terms definitely helped me avoid googling the definition for those terms. It was nicely put and the visualizations made it easier for me to envision what lupus does to you.
From personal experience, I really enjoyed your piece.
I liked the way you emphasized things that you knew your audience would surely relate to.
Ambiguous doctors and strong friendships.
Your piece also took a strong turn when you mentioned leaving the pediatric care and entering
adult care. Structurally, it marked and important moment in the piece and your life.
The only flaws I saw were in sentence structure and parallelism, other than that great piece.
I’ve read some of these posts and not actually posted, which is silly. I’m surprised that I did not reply to this one especially. I’ve heard of Lupus before; a friend has it, but I never knew what it entailed other than that he didn’t feel well most of the time. If anything, this essay was informative, bestowing upon me information I did not know, and bestowing credibility upon the narrator. It’s a rough disease when your immune system attacks your own body. The implications of that must be tremendous. I like how you don’t spell it out for us right away; you tell us about the doctors and how they treat you first. This allows the reader to see from your perspective that something is wrong, and to experience the anxiety of the matter.
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