Addiction

For October 7th 2013 Monday

Download: F13-ENG23000_Vanessa-Addiction


Addiction implies that you’re unable to control yourself. It implies that you’ve been overtaken by an inanimate object.

Addiction may be many things, but it is not simple. It is elaborate, manipulative. It makes you think you’re fine, and sends you off into a hectic world in which you spend the day thinking about the very object addiction has made your obsession.

Addiction makes you a victim.

ADDICTION: THIS IS WHAT IT’S NOT.

You read about things in newspapers that tell you how bad it is for you to smoke. You read headlines like, “Nicotine Addiction May Predict Weight Gain in Smokers,” and “Evidence Shows Smoking Causes Cancer,” but they don’t phase you like they should. You shrug your shoulders and allow these ideas to slip into the back of your mind, where they eventually get erased from your memory. You’re not addicted. You’re fine. You could quit any time you want to. You just don’t want to right now. There’s no need. It’s not that bad.

But still, the notion that you could be addicted lingers around, filling up things in your day from thoughts to conversations.

“Are you addicted?” you ask your friend, gesturing with your cigarette for effect.

You’re sharing a box of cigarettes with him, a new variety you’ve never tried before.

“No, I’m not addicted; it’s just a habit. I have one when I’m walking to the train station, I have one when I come out, I have one when I get out of work…I don’t need it; it’s just habit. I could quit, but you know, I don’t really have the motivation.”

This is something you’ll often hear from addicts.

You tell yourself to be wary of ever making these statements:

I’m not addicted; it’s just a habit.

I have it at this and this time of the day, but I don’t need it.

I could quit, but I don’t have the motivation.

After this conversation, you wait outside the grocery store for him. He wants to introduce his favorites to you, so he’s buying new boxes. You mentally count off the number of cigarettes you still have in your case. Sure, I could open a new box, you think, I only have eight more to go.

He comes out and you walk together to the end of the block before he hands you your box.

“Here, I just saved you five dollars.”

“Thanks,” you say.

And you’re kind of grateful, but it’s such an expensive habit you’ve stopped counting the price of it for a while now; you’ve just been letting money burn.

Keep burning, keep burning.

“I know the owners, so they always give me a discount. I just say pringles, and they know which box I want,” he says, packing his box away. “You don’t pack your cigarettes?”

“I do,” you say, and pound the box into your palm a couple times.

You observe the kids running around the park. Half an hour ago, he was just saying how he doesn’t smoke around children, and here you are, about to do it anyway.

“I thought you don’t smoke around children.”

He pulls out a cigarette and puts it to his lips—“I don’t. They’re inside, we’re outside. It’s fine”—lights it, and takes a deep pull.

A mother passing by the two of you glares at him and pulls her child away.

Uneasiness creeps up inside of you, but you ignore it. She’s a stranger, you remind yourself. Who cares? Just don’t blow the smoke in a kid’s face and you’re fine.

Addicts justify their actions. You don’t need to be in AA to know that. You see it everywhere around you, from the jobless, career gamer justifying his hobby with a TED talk to the shopper with too much in her closet going, “They were on sale, O.K.!” You see it everyday.

But people only define addiction in terms of the unhealthiest pastimes in this society.

Or it might just be you, justifying your actions again: Everyone’s addicted to something—it’s fine if I am too.

So are you admitting you’re addicted?

What does it mean to be addicted as a smoker?

You stay up Googling when you should be sleeping.

“Cigarettes contain nicotine, which is highly addictive.

Even if you want to quit smoking, you may find it difficult because you’re addicted to the effects of nicotine. Some research has suggested that nicotine can be more addictive than heroin.”

Can you really trust this site? NHS.UK? Who’s sponsoring this? Health freaks? Can they be trusted? Then again, could you trust an article about smoking addiction written by a smoker?

So you continue reading.

“Nicotine alters the balance of chemicals in your brain. It mainly affects chemicals called dopamine and noradrenaline. When nicotine changes the levels of these chemicals, your mood and concentration levels change. Many smokers find this enjoyable.”

You remember getting frustrated from not being able to have a cigarette. You remember finding it hard to concentrate.

You’ve rushed friends home so you could be alone and have a cigarette or two, or five, or eight.

You’ve been with certain friends and would suddenly start thinking about going outside to have a smoke and having to make up some plan to get away from them, because you know that if they find out, they’d only give you hell.

You were at a Starbucks once, watching a friend’s bag because she had to go use the restroom. Her drink was on the table. You wanted to walk out, but you would be a bad friend. And it would’ve been too many things to hold. Damn, would it have been annoying. But you could’ve done it. Before you were able to, she came out of the restroom. Your chance was lost, because you know she hates it when people smoke around her. You reminded yourself to have a couple smokes before seeing her next time.

The article has you thinking about too much. You’re about to close the webpage, but you note the next paragraph. It’s short enough; I’ll just finish this section.

“The more you smoke, the more your brain becomes used to the nicotine. This means that you have to smoke more to get the same effect.”

You think about how you’ve told yourself that by the end of every box, you wouldn’t buy another one. But you always do, and every time, the number of cigarettes you smoke per day only goes up.

You remember the time you drove to a 24-hour Rite Aid at two in the morning to pick up a pack of cigarettes because you couldn’t wait until the next day.

Maybe I am addicted, you start to wonder.

Even as you’re wondering this, you’re already thinking about your next cigarette. You find your thoughts trapped, your lungs begging for its next inhale, exhale. You remember the headlines as a memory flashes through your head. In the next minute, all the weight and worry is evaporated. You can’t remember the last time anything mattered, and you breathe out a satisfied sigh in a savory stream of smoke.

Addiction. It is not a friend. Or at least, not a very good one.

106 thoughts on “Addiction

  1. Sergio Narine

    I enjoyed how the piece begins by defining what addiction is in the first three paragraphs and immediately describes the story though the perspective of an addict. The piece explains the narrative to the audience by using a play-like structure that allows the reader to be engaged throughout the piece. The voice of the narrator is obscured because the narrative is a combination of first, second, and third point of view. For example, the lines, “The article has you thinking about too much. You’re about to close the webpage, but you note the next paragraph. It’s short enough; I’ll just finish this section. ‘The more you smoke, the more your brain becomes used to the nicotine. This means that you have to smoke more to get the same effect’” is confusing because it switches between points of view and makes it more difficult to decipher the voice of the narrator.

    As the piece begins, the writer employs an interesting technique by using shorter paragraph that allows the reader to approach this piece without being intimidating, since the piece talks about a scientific/psychological topic. I would suggest that the writer include some factual information about “addiction” in the beginning that was included in paragraph 34-37 of the piece because at first glance the piece seemed like an opinionated piece. I would also suggest that the narrator limit the use of interrogative statements because it takes away the weight of its use in the narrative.

    Reply
  2. Orhan Gokkaya

    Beginning a piece with a definition was good, however, the example of cigarette smokers was the only example that I saw with addiction. I felt as if your piece transitioned from addiction to how cigarettes are bad for the health, yet people still utilize the cigarettes. Also I would love to see more characters in your piece. When you referred to him or her, I didn’t know who those characters were. A good description of personality for the characters would have made your piece stronger. “It implies that you’ve been overtaken by an inanimate object.” Can you become addicted to a person? If you can than, you can be overtaken by a human as well. You did explain addiction but I wanted more examples. I like the structure of your piece, it kept me interested.

    Reply
  3. Alicia Camano

    The technique of the piece is interesting. I enjoyed the use of adjectives to describe the emotions of the character to evoke emotions on the reader.Your use of the second person is different compared to the memoirs I have read in the past. I was engaged while reading the piece. I was able to understand and comprehend the addiction. The part that you emphasize the use of the second person was in,
    “After this conversation, you wait outside the grocery store for him. He wants to introduce his favorites to you, so he’s buying new boxes. You mentally count off the number of cigarettes you still have in your case. Sure, I could open a new box, you think, I only have eight more to go.”
    I really liked your piece.

    Reply
  4. Diali Montalvo

    I enjoyed your use of a second person narrative in your piece. Before you went into depth about your piece, you did a great job breaking down the definition of addiction and gave the reader a great understanding on what your piece. I wish you had gave multiple examples are various forms of addiction before speaking on cigarettes. Your worked flowed very nicely and I enjoyed how you kept your main character anonymous and focused on his thoughts and struggle with addiction. The way your piece is written made me feel as if I was the one struggling with this addiction despite never having smoked before. Your conclusion left me thinking cigarettes, addiction, and its effects. Overall the piece is insightful to the thoughts of an addict. Great work.

    Reply
  5. Henry Bucket

    This was an interesting piece. The way that you started with a definition for addiction helped to draw me in, but to be honest I thought that the topic was going to be hard drugs or alcohol. I felt like your use of the second person made this feel a little like one of those anti smoking commercials were all used to seeing on tv and on the trains, but that’s also a little unavoidable with this topic. On the other hand, I thought that by keeping all of your characters unidentified, you really kept my as the reader involved. By not naming any names and using the second person, I was really drawn into your piece.

    Reading this I was wondering if you do smoke or not. I’m not really sure if this is a memoir or creative nonfiction, or both. Either way you’ve done a good job of making an interesting piece that draws the reader in. I also really enjoyed the line “… you breathe out a satisfied sigh in a savory stream of smoke.” Excellent word choice.

    Reply
  6. Li Huang

    Puppy eyes. They melt hearts. Sometimes we can’t help but to obsess with the faces of adorable creatures that project treasured human qualities. They are able to conjure/swell up emotions that make us vulnerable. Similarly, it is cigarettes and a powerful substance called nicotine that reroute the circuitry of the human brain. There are many forms of addiction and I don’t know all of them nor how to categorize them. But I do know that this piece was written effectively enough for me to read it all the way through, sort of getting me addicted to the context until the last word. And that’s what addiction has on you. The last word. It’s like being attacked by tentacles or those octopus arms that keep regenerating and latching onto you even after you manage to severe some of them. Addiction can never be a good thing, with the exception of being addicted to condoning in good deeds. Even then, you might not have enough time to look after yourself. A wise person I met when I was 15 years of age told me on a basketball court at night after a few practice shots that “…too little of anything is not good for you and too much of anything is bad for you. Moderation is healthy.” “What about water?” “What about money?” What about friends?” “Too much water and you drown or your blood thins out, too much money will brood jealousy in the people around you. And too many friends will limit self-discovery and might interfere with maturity.” Let’s not talk about the ‘too little’s’ and talk about the ‘too much.’ The body itself will try to maintain moderation in its own sense by developing tolerance to certain environmental influences. Work out too much and your body will be sculpted into an Adonis. Smoke too much and your body will demand more nicotine to sustain its daily essentials. Write too much on Mead’s blogs and become an textual eyesore.

    Reply
  7. Amilka Lopez

    I really enjoyed the way you described addiction and your use of structure in the beginning of your piece, it really drew me in as the reader and I wanted to know more about the topic as I was reading
    “Addiction implies that you’re unable to control yourself. It implies that you’ve been overtaken by an inanimate object. Addiction may be many things, but it is not simple. It is elaborate, manipulative. It makes you think you’re fine, and sends you off into a hectic world in which you spend the day thinking about the very object addiction has made your obsession”.
    I was bit confused when reading “After this conversation, you wait outside the grocery store for him. He wants to introduce his favorites to you, so he’s buying new boxes. You mentally count off the number of cigarettes you still have in your case. Sure, I could open a new box, you think, I only have eight more to go.
    He comes out and you walk together to the end of the block before he hands you your box.
    “Here, I just saved you five dollars.”
    “Thanks,” you say.” I wasn’t sure who you were really talking at this moment.
    I would suggest maybe using a couple more examples of addiction before speaking on cigarettes.
    I really liked your piece.

    Reply
  8. Kerel Cain

    You executed the second person narrative very well. It took me a while to get in to the character (even though I’m a smoker) but once I was there I could feel the anxiety building. Starting with addiction itself was a great approach before leading into the actually addiction because it prepared the reader for the bases of your story while also providing some mystery in wondering where the story was going. 

    Choosing a second person narrative for this topic was brilliant because it takes the reader into the mind set of an addict. Justifications and others judgement being a integral part of an addicts life is conveyed best in the second person narrative ( in my opinion) and I wouldn’t have known that without reading your piece. I feel like you “killed your darlings” because the entire piece was concise and directly to the point

    Reply
    1. Suresh Ramdhanie

      I second with Kerel on your excellent use of second person; great choice and nice execution. I was able to really put myself in the shoes of the person this addiction is happening to. I especially loved the anecdotes of the times the smoker felt guilty about what he/she was doing. The moments that most vividly captured the sense of losing self and losing willpower to fight the addiction were when you mentioned relenting on your initial disgust of smoking around children and decide ‘hey, it’s not that bad if I don’t blow it into their tiny little faces;’ the time when you drove to Rite-Aid at 2am- seriously, who does that?; and that section about you consciously ignoring the math behind how much money you spend on cigarettes and you burning the money away- great line btw.
      All these things did very well to articulate the addiction you’re facing and you’re ability to meld them together and pace the story made it all an easy and enjoyable read. Very artistic and satisfying

      Reply
  9. Julianne Reynoso

    I really appreciate your use of the second person. It makes the story more compelling than if it were in the first or third person and almost makes me feel as if it’s something that happened to me. Since it’s not what I’m used to it is a little odd to read, but I commend you trying something different. The aspect of ‘hiding’ throughout this piece is interesting, from the denial you go through as you research smoking and its effects to the way you change behaviors to avoid issues in relationships, “You’ve been with certain friends and would suddenly start thinking about going outside to have a smoke and having to make up some plan to get away from them, because you know that if they find out, they’d only give you hell.” I particularly like when your friend goes to the bathroom and you’re sitting there waiting, wishing that you could smoke. “You wanted to walk out, but you would be a bad friend… You reminded yourself to have a couple smokes before seeing her next time.” Your planning of future meetings gives fascinating insight to addiction as you try to avoid your friend’s criticism, especially when views of addicts are as people who don’t care about other’s opinions on their habits. I see your search for justification as acceptance of your dependence and overall your piece gave a decent perspective on those going through addictions.

    Reply
  10. Deviniti Donnabella

    I really enjoyed reading this piece because the speaker gives great scenarios involving smoking addiction. The piece starts off great with focus on general addiction then going into smoking with an individual as the “test subject.”

    Reply
  11. Ruket Negasi

    I thought this was a good piece and I liked the voice tone in this story. It made me feel like I was inside the addicts head. And giving a definition of what an addict is is also helpful for the reader to follow through. I felt like I could relate to the smoker in this story because I have alot of friends who smoke and all I hear is “I’m not addicted; it’s just a habit. I have it at this and this time of the day, but I don’t need it. I could quit, but I don’t have the motivation.”
    This story could be improved if the second character “he” is descriped more in the piece. Overall it’s a good piece.

    Reply
  12. Gabriela

    I appreciate that you wrote this piece in the second person because as discussed in class on Wednesday, it’s rarely done and could be rather difficult to pull off. Although it was vivid in I description and detail, ufortunately, I didn’t quite get that personal connection that a piece of writing in the second person perspective is supposed to give you. It wasn’t that I didn’t connect with the material, it was more so the way it was delivered. It was somewhat “choppy” for lack of a better word and it lacked direction. I couldn’t figure out the direction of the piece and perhaps that was done intention, but if not then perhaps you could look into figuring out what direction you’d like to take that piece into.
    I really enjoyed the references you used in the piece. For example the part where to write, “You see it everywhere around you, from the jobless, career gamer justifying his hobby with a TED talk to the shopper with too much in her closet going, “They were on sale, O.K.!” You see it everyday.” This was one of the sections were as a reader I could get a better sense of who you are by the references you’ve provide. I also like the style in which you wrote your piece, sectioning it off in a way where is make give the illusion of someone’s thought process, by italicizing and leaving spaces. My suggestion is to reconsider whether you want to leave this piece in the second person or revise and use first or third person. If you’re going to leave it the way it is, then try making it more personal. Overall however, this was I very nice read.

    Reply
  13. Nadya Antoine

    I enjoyed Addiction.
    It is quite interesting that you decided to focus on the science and psychological
    reasoning behind nicotine-addcits.
    Your piece included a lot of repetition that made your piece stronger–which is something
    difficult to master–. This includes your constant repetition of an addict always trying
    to conjure up a reason or excuse for their his action.
    Intellectually, you mixed first and third person to give us a full account of your experiences
    as an addict.

    My only problem is your own thoughts on your addiction towards the end. Maybe do you still strive
    to become free of nicotine or is it something you’ve wholly given up on?

    Otherwise, great piece.

    Reply
  14. David Castro

    i enjoyed this piece, it is uniquely writing which makes it easier to read, and takes away from being to preachy in your delivery, i do feel that the ending was a bit abrupt, and there still alot left to say,
    etc the “googling”

    Reply
  15. Josie

    Addiction can be for an animate object. Addiction is not just a habit. I would like to hear more of your own addictions. I think you should write in paragraphs. The paper reads as if you are in denial. Could you be hiding your addiction? I think you could help more people with your paper.

    Reply
  16. Daniel Song

    You have a very good, and dare I say sinister, way of hooking the reader in. Your use of “you” creates a conversational tone that actually adds to the piece. It _is_ the piece. We covered in class that in a sense, “you” is actually referring to the narrator. It’s kind of like literary cheating, but it passes, and I like it.

    There’s also the narrator’s sort of admission at the end, that she’s addicted. This humanizes her; and it makes the whole conversation worth it. I mean that there was a point to all this, and we don’t have to be annoyed that the narrator just gave us this pointless conversation. There was a point.

    The end was dark too, and I like that; this isn’t really a happy piece, and by inviting the reader in by conversing with them, you bring us this painful truth and put us in the narrator’s shoes. I’m really a big fan of that.

    Reply
  17. Joan Infante

    This piece was great in handling the topic of addiction. Of course, you can apply this to almost anything, and in your case, smoking fit well.

    The excuses that a smoker says to his/her self and others was hilarious for me. Hilarious because it is completely true. Everybody has that friend who is addicted to something and just flat out says that they arent addicted and that they dont have motivation to do so.

    Some of the jargon had me confused. The names of a single cigarette, a box of cigarettes and a carton of cigarettes could definitely use some clarification.

    Reply
  18. Krystal Temple

    I absolutely LOVE this piece for multiple reasons that are probably irrelevant for the point of literary criticism (lol).

    This piece really captures the concept of addiction. The vague position of the narrator adds to the dramatic tension created by the piece. Throughout the piece, the narrator switches between the words “you” and “I” to describe how one deals with addiction. This leads the reader to assume that this was cleverly done to absolve any involvement with his/her addiction. It seems that the narrator is trying to remove the focus away from his/her addiction, which is a defense mechanism that you describe in your piece.

    The voice of this piece is enhanced, with the usage of italics to represent what the narrator is thinking. I like this, because it further develops the character. The use of metaphor is also apparent, when you say: “keep burning, keep burning.” This has a double meaning, as you address the situation of “burning” money, cigarettes, ore even your conscience.

    For my last thought, I felt a personal connection with your piece, which is very important. The piece was believable, and one can relate to this piece with ANY addiction they may have. And for my critique, I feel as if maybe you can develop more of the narrator’s thoughts.

    Overall, great piece!

    Reply
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