Love

Josefina Vidal

 

Love

 

     I am in love with love.  One of my favorite people that I am in love with is John F. Kennedy Jr.  I saw him once at Grand Central Station.  It was the rededication.  He spoke about his Mother.  He was the most beautiful man I had ever seen.  That was October 1998.  Just nine and a half months before his death.  I feel closer to him in death.  I look forward to being with him someday.  The weekend that he got married his spirit came to me to try and stop it.  I wish I had.  Like Prince William, I did not like John’s wife.

Another person that I am in love with is my husband, Francois.  We divorced after ten years, but we have now been together for twenty-two  years.  He is French.  He is a doctor in his third year of residency in New Jersey.  We met in June 1991 in Los Angeles.  We married less than two weeks later in Las Vegas.  We lived for a short while near Paris, France.  Then we settled in NYC.  I hope to be with him forever.  I hope to be with him in heaven someday.

Someone else I love is my Mother.  She does customer service for The Metropolitan Opera.  She’s also worked at NYU.  She worked for Chase Manhattan Bank for over twenty years.  My Mother has a heart condition.  She also has high blood pressure and other health problems.  I wish that she would take better care of herself.

I also love my Father.  He is a Black Jack dealer in Las Vegas.  He moved there when my parents divorced when I was four.  He has been married five times.  His current wife is forty years younger than he is.

I suffer from depression.  I get a shot every two weeks.  In August of 1997, I attempted suicide.  My loved ones keep me happy.  I dream of them.  I pay close attention to my dreams.  I hear voices.  I feel that my loved ones can speak to me from a far.  With John, my dreams and his voice are all I have.  I have smoked pot.  It makes me feel good.  I think that it should be legal.  I have been in the hospital for depression many times.  I have been out of the hospital for almost five years now.  When I smoke, I feel as if my loved ones are making love to me.  One at a time.  My husband does not want me to smoke.  Neither does my Mother.  It is the biggest difference I have with them.

I keep a journal.  Mostly I write about my dreams.  I am also in love with Prince William and Prince Harry.  John is the best-looking of them all.  His only serious girlfriend besides his wife was Daryl Hannah.  Most of my loved ones give a lot to charity.  In his day, John was the most famous man in the world.  People magazine named him the sexiest man alive and had him on their cover.

I have not done as much with my life as my loved ones have.  I probably will be better known for who I am married to than for what I have done.  John is not remembered in his Father’s library as an adult.  I think that that is a shame.  John’s Father was the President of The USA.  He was killed.  John died in a plane crash.  He was piloting the plane.  His wife and her sister died with him.  This November 22nd will be fifty years since his Father was killed.  He is remembered by most.  I hope that John is not forgotten.  There are YouTube videos about him.  There are also videos about William and Harry.  It is harder to remember John since he is dead.  William and Harry are always in the news.  I can’t choose just one person to be in love with.  I wish that I could.  I fall in love easily.  But I am very picky.  The man has to be almost perfect.

I wish that I could meet someone new.  But I am forty-five now so it is hard.  I make noises and my jaw opens and closes on it’s own.  I feel that I am possessed.  I wish that whatever it was would leave me alone.  It began after I wrote to William and Harry comments in the British papers that they should leave their girlfriends.  It worked. Except William got back with his girlfriend.  When he broke up with his girlfriend I was in tears, I was so happy.  Since then I send emails to William and Harry.  One birthday it was online in a British paper that I follow William and Harry.

I am so glad that William has left the military.  I wish that Harry would too.  I worry about my loved ones.  My husband is very patient with me.  He knows about my other passions.  I feel that my dreams are an extension of my life.  I am happiest when I am loving someone.  John died tragically young.  He was only thirty-eight.  He had a lot of living left to do.  John had a magazine.  I read it every month.  I was addicted to his magazine.  I started reading it on like the sixth issue.   When John died, I ended up in the hospital.  It was my doctor that told me when they had found their bodies.  Even after all these years, it is hard to recover from.  The day after John died my husband went to a concert.  I asked him not to, but he went.

I miss John so very much.  I think that he could have been President.  I would have loved to be his first lady.  John is kind of shy.  He does not talk to me as much as I would like.  I think he could just let some other man walk away with me.  I have like one friend I talk to.  I also have a younger half-brother and three half-sisters.  Two older and one younger.  But I am really only in touch with my two older half-sisters. I am on social media.  I am on Twitter everyday.  My loved ones keep me company in spirit.  Until my husband comes back, I am alone.  I live for my classes, my writing.  I love City College.  I love being a student.  My greatest loves are away.

22 thoughts on “Love

  1. Diali Montalvo

    I liked your piece but I felt like your writing style was too similar to your first piece on Prince William. You discussed many themes in “Love” which broke the flow of your essay. In your introduction you spoke about JFK jr. stating ” I feel closer to him in death. ” but you go on to say “It is harder to remember John since he is dead.” which took away a bit from your credibility. I was a little confused with you wrote “Until my husband comes back, I am alone”. Where did he go? I also wanted to know a little more about who he is as person and as a husband. Because your piece focuses on all that you love I would suggest leaving out some of the negative aspects of your life and the things that trouble you. I was interested in your siblings. You mention them but don’t express your love for them. Do you? You’re an extremely intriguing person Josie. I would suggest sharing a piece with the class that shows versatility in your writing.

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  2. David Castro

    alot of lines contradict each other. my main critique is that this was basically the same piece as the one before, except this one was more disorganized and at times hard to read.

    i loved the inclusion of your husband, it makes the question if this love is actually real, not just an obsession. Does your husband exist or is he just a fantasy ? this could of been a great focus and allows room for more of a poetic delivery that you showed before that you are very much capable of.

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  3. Li Huang

    I don’t really know how to comment on this piece properly… It seems so unorganized. However, the underlying theme is not ignored or brushed aside. I think the author wrote this to satisfy her self-indulgence with fantasy obsessions. I’m not sure what she wanted to incite from her readers though…

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  4. Gabriela

    This piece seems to be an extention of your previous piece and it makes me wonder if you put any effort into exploring other writing styles or forms. I guess the answer is no, which is fine, but it limits you in terms of imporving your writing because you only allow us to critique what has already been critiqued. I understand that the theme here is love, you make that quite clear due to the amount of repeatition you include. Unfortunately, I couldn’t get past the short sentences and repeatition and this just turned me off to the piece entirely. Like I mentioned previously, it could just be that I was bored with the writing considering I had seen most of it already. I suggest you explore a different topic altogether. It’s understandable that these people who you don’t know personally play a huge factor in your life, but there has to be something else.
    How about writing why you think you have obsessions towards these people? That to me makes for a much more interesting and personable memoir than what you have written. The problem here is that we know all the things you write about here for the most part, but the new things like the expansion on your marriage and the mention of your sibilings is far more intriguing. Work on cutting down the redundancy in your writing. If it is meant to read like a poem, then just write a poem, otherwise structure your sentences to be more significant.

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  5. Orhan Gokkaya

    I found several similarities to your first piece, Prince William. Often I referred to it as a reference. When you stated, “The man has to be almost perfect.” What is a perfect man in your own terms? Also why do you have such a strong connection to William and Harry? I would have liked to know more about your husband. When you stated, “We divorced after ten years, but we have now been together for twenty-two years.” I would have liked to know what caused the break up as well as what caused the reunion. What I found ironic in this piece was when you stated, ” I wish that she would take better care of herself” (referring to your mother), it reminds me of the narrator who “smoked pot” because it made her feel good. The narrator seems to symbolize that she is still under depression. What shocked me was the ending of the piece when the writer stated, “My greatest loves are away.” It was shocking because her greatest love aren’t away. She stated that she loved being a student, in fact her greatest love is with her, herself.

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  6. Daniel

    There is a powerful human element to this piece; like a sanity to the insanity. Maybe that’s just the way I see it.

    A lot of your lines are contradictory, and I think you did this on purpose. I’m not sure if it works or not as proper writing, but I can say that it does elevate the mood of the piece.

    Your lines are short, and I feel that maybe there are too many short lines, yet again, it fits the sort of manic-ness of the piece.

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  7. Vanessa

    I don’t even want to give you any suggestions because with you, it feels like the meaning is in all the rawness of a fresh draft. But there are parts you could refine. Perhaps you can give us more details regarding what you know about each person’s life, e.g. John’s only serious girlfriends. And for sentences that are confusing in content and self-contradicting, instead of changing your sentences, you can instead clarify them through giving more information. For example, having divorced your husband, yet been with him for 22 years is something you go more into depth with. Are you now friends and he continues to take care of you or what is your relationship with your husband actually like?
    About this sentecnce: ” John is not remembered in his Father’s library as an adult.” You can really expand on this, like what you mean by it, especially if you’ve visited the JFK Library in person. Discuss shortly your experience there and what you had sought to do this; wanted to feel a sense of closeness to John? Talk about that.
    It seems that your voice is very consistent in your writing, as well as your overall structure. It is very mysterious and keeps me wanting to know more about the author. There seem to be certain sentences that were also in your first piece; it’s clear that these thoughts often pervade your mind. It feels like you really worked on trying to expand on details with this piece. Though it seems like there are contradictions, I do see improvement and a potential for a longer story. Keep writing.

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  8. Henry Bucket

    They way that this piece is written reminds me of the first a little bit. The shorter sentences doesn’t work as well for me in this piece as they did in the first one. In the first piece I was drawn in by the shorter sentences and paragraphs, whereas in this piece the sentences were a bit longer and more complex, but I found my self having to force my attention upon the piece.
    There were a few contradictions in your piece that raise question about the narrator’s credibility; you say that you “feel closer to him [JFK Jr.] in death,” but a few paragraphs later you say that it’s harder to remember him after he died. In the same paragraph you say that you fall in love easily and in the next sentence you say that you are picky. You also say that you love your husband, but then say that you wish you could meet someone new. I’m not really sure what to make of all of that.
    I feel like the fact that your husband went to a concert right after JFK Jr. died, even though you asked him not to has some deeper meaning and I think you should go into it more.

    I think that for this piece you should either focus more on JFK Jr. or take away some of the focus from him and put it on the other ones that you love. You mention your family very briefly but it only seems like a thought that crosses your mind and then vanishes. It is an interesting piece that lets the reader compare your definition of “love” versus their own.

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  9. Kerel Cain

    I think the piece will be better as a narrative. It would interesting to hear your opinion on what love is and how your love fits into the publics opinion of love. Also I wonder if you have the same type of love for your husband, William , Harry and John. Your last piece was similar to this but it had more order and flow. This piece scrambled around more than the last one.

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  10. Suresh Ramdhanie

    I pretty much concur completely with Gabriela; to piggie back off what she and others have said, this piece was too similar to the first to maintain my interest. Once I saw that you wrote about being in love with male celebrities again honestly I kind of just skimmed through the rest of the narrative to see what was new. I liked that you included new details about your parents and also your husband. Expand dramatically on you and your (ex?)husband’s marriage. That to me is the most interesting subplot in this mix. He a doctor and clearly very educated. You guys broke up so I find an elaboration on the break up would be great content for a story. I know I would not be pleased if my spouse was fascinated and “in love” with all these famous men. I want to know what your husbands thoughts on this were, how did he cope, how did you guy’s work on it as a couple. Recreating a scene with full dialogue in which you two argued would make for an interesting essay too. Ok, good luck with your revision, I for one would be looking forward to it.

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  11. Krystal Temple

    I appreciate the style you used in this piece. It seems to be bordering on a style similar to stream of consciousness. This might be necessary for your piece because you mention that you suffer from depression, and that you hallucinate from smoking. Both of these things support this form. You also continue to refer to loving John, which ties the piece together. I feel that this piece could have had a stronger ending if you ended with the same idea/ theme you began with which is love or your love for John. I would like to see you go into depth about your hallucinations, or your obsession with love. Maybe you could illustrate how it feels to hear voices; that would allow for the reader to understand your fragmented structure, and keep them (readers who believe your piece is a rambling of ideas) interested.

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  12. Sergio Narine

    After reading the piece, I felt that I needed a backstory regarding the main character and why she is so delusional. I appreciate the organization of the piece because it suggests that there is some credibility to the author instead of thinking that the piece was written completely for the writer’s pleasure without any knowledge of literary techniques. For instance, the piece begins with four character descriptions, then it talks about the main character’s obsession with various men. The voice of the narrator is very similar to the character because of the concise lines that sound sporadic. This is an interesting technique because it’s a manifestation of the character’s personality, which heightens the narrators obsession with love and men. I appreciate how the narrator used the short paragraph to establish each character, although it was mostly “telling.”

    I was confused when the narrator mentions the cousins in the last paragraph because there was not reference to them in the beginning of the piece. So I would suggest that the writer include some information about them when she introduces the different characters in the beginning. These last couple of line: ” I am on Twitter everyday. My loved ones keep me company in spirit. Until my husband comes back, I am alone. I live for my classes, my writing. I love City College. I love being a student” seem out of place. What purpose does it serve for the piece?

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  13. Amilka Lopez

    I feel like this piece is a lot like your first piece. In the first piece Prince William you spoke a bit about your husband and in the piece you said “We divorced after ten years, but we have now been together for twenty-two years. He is French. He is a doctor in his third year of residency in New Jersey. We met in June 1991 in Los Angeles. We married less than two weeks later in Las Vegas. We lived for a short while near Paris, France. Then we settled in NYC. I hope to be with him forever. I hope to be with him in heaven someday” but I would still like to know more about him. Why do you love him? How is your relationship now? Has it changed or is it the same after the divorce? I would like to know more about why do you love John, William, Husband etc..

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  14. Alicia Camano

    Love
    I really enjoy your piece. I enjoy that is different from the other pieces we have read in class. Your pieces to me do seem to have a pattern. The pattern that you use in this piece is mentioning what you love and then explaining something about them. “I am in love with love. Someone else I love is my Mother. I also love my Father.”
    I feel as if the literary element you use in your pieces is enjambment, similar to victoria wolf. Wolf in one of her pieces if I don’t recall wrong, but her piece is similar to enjambment as if her subconscious were speaking. When the “subconscious speaks” that works as thoughts that run on a individuals head with no stop or change of subject drastically.
    The only thing I would like you to add about your piece is if you add more about your depression, I would like to know more about it. You don’t have to be subtle about that topic.

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  15. Deviniti Donnabella

    I loved reading this piece because it opens up my mind to the things in life that I too love and appreciate. This piece seems to be a little jumpy with sentences that have nothing to do with each other but the way you construct the piece as a whole makes it so poetic. I love the voice of the narrator. It seems like she is in a trance or a love spell. It really is beautiful. I would like to know what are some of the things you dream about in detail. You say that you are with your husband but then you say that you are not. Which is it? I would love to get direct insight to the heart of the narrator, but I feel like something is in the way. The piece seems robotic on purpose to block any underlying emotions perhaps. Great job.

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  16. Nadya Antoine

    Like your other piece, I enjoyed the stylistic, poetic approach that you’ve taken for your “Loves”.

    However, it feels like the reader gets only small glimpses of your life each time. Thus, I want to know more about why you consider your-self to fall so quickly and why you think you jump from love to love.

    Nevertheless, the strong emotion and heartfelt love for the character is definitely apparent.

    Great piece.

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  17. Krystal Temple

    (I already commented on this – but I didn’t realize I did – so you can just add these comments to my last post – because it’s quite different)

    I actually like your style of writing. This disconnected, fragmented style of writing can be appreciated because it connects to the ideas in the piece. You explain that you are in love with love, and then you mention that you are depressed. This depression could be the reason that you are in love with love.

    Although the piece has a fragmented structure, it does contain a structure. You switch back and forth between talking about the ones you love and your depression. This is why I believe that this piece is strong, and the form in fact does work for the piece. It wouldn’t work for EVERY piece you write, but it works for this one. In this way, I believe that the narrative voice is very strong. The voice paints a character that is depressed and confused, which is mentioned in your piece. I personally feel that this piece is very relatable. (I understand how depression can feel, and at times the very voice you used during this piece illustrates exactly how your mind feels. It often feels fragmented and unstable, which are feelings you describe during the piece) PLEASE don’t change the style of this piece when revising it! I liked it!

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  18. Ruket Negasi

    After reading the first paragraph I realized that this essay was going to be about obsession, which is very similiar to the first essay the author wrote. In other words I can just copy paste my comment I made to the authors first piece to this piece. But since we are getting graded based on how we comment on the essays, here you go:

    I think this piece lacks structure, it could be improved if there was a thesis in the begining. I suggest the author writes more about the definition of love since the author expresses their love for Prince William, JFK Jr. etc, The narrator mentions that their loved ones makes them happy yet they feel depressed and want to commit suicide, “I suffer from depression. I get a shot every two weeks. In August of 1997, I attempted suicide. My loved ones keep me happy.” this part comes of as very confusing, perhaps eloborate more about why the narrator is so depressed that they want to commit suicide.

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  19. Joan Infante

    As many entertainment sequels have been made, this one did not live up to its predecessor. It did not have the same effect as the Prince William story, likely because the author is now talking about her love for JFK Jr. On the plus side, the more explicit reveal of her life plays a slighter larger role this time around. But the vagueness regarding her husband was a nice touch.

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  20. Julianne Reynoso

    I liked how your different style work in the first piece, but unfortunately I didn’t feel as supportive this technique time around. There are moments where there sentences seemed so disconnected that i felt lost as to what the writer was talking about. “I feel that my loved ones can speak to me from a far. With John, my dreams and his voice are all I have. I have smoked pot. It makes me feel good. I think that it should be legal. I have been in the hospital for depression many times.” I love that you love love and that somehow makes everything work out for me in the end because it is the best explanation for your piece being the way it is. You love many things, maybe writing in this style is one of them, and while at first i wondered how can someone love so many things, I realized that maybe people just don’t love enough. I don’t know if that was the message, but I think it’s a valuable lesson nonetheless.

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