I would consider myself a prune because I would always organize everything in my life. I would never do anything that was not on my list or in my planner. My friends and family would ask me to do things but I will always say no. My friends would ask me randomly if I would like to go out with them to dinner or something that they planned spontaneously. That day was no exception to them. It was December 15
My response would always be the same. “I can’t I have home work to do tonight.”
Melissa, My best friend: “ alicia come on its only one day.”
Me: “Melissa you know I can’t, I planned to read the Five chapters of Dorian
grey for hw”
Melissa: “just move things in your schedule”
Me: “I cant, I am sorry”
Melissa: “okay, bye”
This would be one of the many incidents that happened with my friends and Elizur, my Fiancé, was no exception. He called me not long after. I was frustrated because people didn’t understand my predicament. If something was to be moved from my schedule to another day I would have an overload of homework.
Me: “I have homework, tonight”
Elizur: “you always have homework, you can’t just do it another day”
Me: “ely you know that I can’t do it, if I do I will have too much homework. I
am not like you that does not get a lot of homework”
Elizur: “you can’t make an exception with me. Lets go out to dinner, or out
Me: “no means no, if you want I can check my schedule and make some time
Elizur: “I hate when you do that. You are always planning things.”
Me: “I can’t help it. I have room for you next week on Saturday.”
This would be our typical argument. Especially the topic of the future, he would ask me when would we get married or when would we have children or move in together. I am not afraid of commitment I just have to be prepared ahead of time. I don’t like surprises.
Elizur: “ when should we set the date? To send out the save the date.”
Me: “ ely setting the date now is too early.”
Elizur: “if its too early to do that, tell me when would you like to get
Me: “ maybe 2015”
Ely: “ that is too far from now”
Me: “it will be enough time to plan, okay.”
Elizur: “I thought being together for six years would be enough time. What about having children?”
Me: “ely I have told you many times, I am not ready”
Elizur: “ali no one is ready to have children, people take it as it comes.”
Me: “no means no, I am busy. Bye.”
Those were the conversation I would usually have with people. My mentality would not change; I would not allow anyone to change my schedule. I like to have a routine, to be consistent. I would consider myself a prune because I would never make any exceptions in my schedule, I would constantly plan something in order not to have any surprises. I always had a plan. Until later that day Nancy, my sister, called me. She called me on December 15, 2012 at 8:00pm. I remember the exact moment because that is the time I turn on the tv to watch the big bang theory.
Nancy: “hey alicia, what are you doing?”
Me: “ just turned on the tv, watching the big bang theory. What about you?”
Nancy: “ I wanted to ask you, what are you going to do tomorrow?”
Nancy: “for no reason just asking.”
Me: “Nancy there is a reason for every question, if there was no reason you
wouldn’t be asking a question in the first place.”
Nancy: “ come on, just tell me do you work tomorrow?”
Me:” yeah I do. Why?”
Nancy: “okay, forget it bye”
I was confused as to why she would call me to ask me a question and then hung up the phone. In that moment my mother called me.
Me: “ hello, mom what’s going on why did Nancy call me like that and just
hung up on me.”
Mom: “Alicia she didn’t want to bother you, but it’s time”
I was surprised of the news my mother had told me. While I was getting ready to go pick up my sister to take her to the hospital, I was overwhelmed with feelings. Deep inside of me I didn’t want to go. I kept thinking this was not plan. I have a set schedule. I had to drag myself in to doing something I was not used to. I felt my body shaking while I was getting dressed. I felt as if I was out of breath. I felt that way on my way to pick her up and on the way to the hospital. At the same time I felt uncomfortable because what I was experiencing at that moment was not normal to me. I felt as if I was in a movie theater watching a movie, everything was moving too fast.
Who would have imagined that labor could last 12 hours? I heard about it, but never thought I would actually experience that. The entire time I was with Nancy and Rafa, her boyfriend, I kept looking at the time. The time on the big round clock on the white wall, time moved so slow. I grew impatient to find out what the baby would be. But the baby was not ready to be greeted. I kept looking at that clock every moment to know the time.
Until it was morning at 9:00am I was impatient, tired, and frustrated because I stood awake the whole night waiting to greet the baby. I was frustrated because I had to leave by 9:40am to go to work. I tend to plan any moment in my life, this moment was something I did not have any control. I was sad because I was going to leave soon, not being there for Nancy to support her. The doctor came in the room, greeted everyone and walked towards Nancy to speak to her about the baby. The doctor look so calm, I wonder how can she do her job and still smile. Even though all the labors that she has experience that could last up to 12 hours or more and deal with the frustrating mothers. I admire the patience that she must have in order to deal with the screaming mothers in labor. She told my sister it was time that the baby had to be delivered now or she would have to start doing a c section. Something my sister did not want, she planned to have a natural labor. When I heard that the baby would come, I became overwhelmed with feelings because I would be there to see the baby.
The moment when the doctor told Nancy that she would have to breath in and push that way they baby could come out. I saw Nancy’s face, she looked exhausted and tired, but she looked determined. At first I believed I was strong enough to see my sister give birth until she started pushing and then I started to feel uncomfortable. And then pushed back to not see how the baby would be born. Until one of the nurses saw me and said where are you going? Just grab her leg and assist us. I did as the nurse asked and I tried not to look. But while I tried not to look I guess I was not holding her leg right because the nurse said “look at me and keep her leg in this place.” I moved the leg, but when I did I could not look away, but just look at my sister and when I did, that is when it happen. My sister was pushing and I saw the baby’s head come out and then the body. The labor that people see on television is nothing compared to a real life situation. I can admit I was traumatized, disgusted, and happy. The baby cried and was filled with mucus and blood. The time she was born was 9:29am. I was making sure I had the correct time. The nurse took the baby away to get her clean and ready. When the nurse was done she brought back the baby and gave the baby to Nancy she carried her for 10 min after that Rafa was holding the baby for 10 minutes. My turn came up; I was so scared because she was so small and vulnerable. I was holding her for one minute or less and then I felt in love. Not only that but I felt a warm feeling in my chest and then my legs. I was not sure what I was feeling, I then touched my legs and guess what? She greeted me by peeing on me. We all laugh that the baby peed on me! I was holding her for less than 5 minutes and then the nurse said it was time for them to take her away to get a checkup and shots. I was saddened because I wanted to keep holding her. While I was carrying her I was filled with emotions I never felt before. I felt in love, I wanted to be with her and protect her. At that moment I check the time and I had to leave to go to work, I was late.
The time I left was 10:00am I said bye to everyone and left. At that moment on the ride to work I thought about what had happened earlier. I was tired and happy. When I was holding the baby I was filled with beautiful emotions. I wanted to stay with her. I now understand why my sister decided to keep such a precious gift. She was willing to accept the baby without a plan, something opposite from my mentality. She was willing to accept what came to her in life. This is when I stop trying to plan every single moment in my life. Because of her, I now make exceptions.